Back to Bristol Ch. 18

The meal that evening was fairly desultory, although the food was good. We talked about neutral things, we agreed that maybe we should start talking in earnest about private schools for the boys from September, especially as she now lived outside of the proper catchment area for their current school. Then we talked safely about old friends and acquaintances, ones we'd lost because of the divorce, or because I'd moved away, or because they'd moved away. And that led to my mentioning that I'd met up with Keith and Anne Walters, and that they were now living in San Diego. Which in turn led to a conversation about life on the West Coast of the States. Which in turn led to Molly talking about how she had always wanted to visit Las Vegas. Now my first visit to Las Vegas was about nine months after our divorce. And my memory was of a really charming and quite beautiful girl who I picked up in a bar at about eleven o'clock one night, and by two o'clock she was in my bed at my hotel. She really was a nice person and the sex was good if pretty vanilla. But my real memory was of me coming out of the bathroom the next morning, and she was just waking up, with her long brunette hair splayed across the pillow, and she opened her eyes and saw me and smiled. A pretty, soft and loving smile. I just looked at her coldly, and told her that I was off to a breakfast meeting, and that she was welcome to call room service for some breakfast, and that I'd see her around. My very last memory of her was with a tear rolling down her face, as I walked out. And so Molly got the full benefit of my bitter lecture on how her fucking stupid thoughtlessness, her selfish lust, lead to hurt and pain for others. "Throw a pebble into a pond and there are ripples, Molly. Just because you wanted to be fucked by Peter Davies one afternoon, some poor girl who you don't know, haven't met and probably will never meet, ends up in tears in a hotel bedroom in Las Vegas." Molly turned and looked at me, her eyes were blazing, "No, Chris. No. I'll take the blame for what I did wrong. I'll go to my grave feeling guilty about that. But I am not going to be blamed for what you did some eighteen months later and some five thousand miles away, to some girl who I've never met. That was your choice, Chris. You were a grown man and a responsible adult. I didn't reduce that girl to tears, you did." Her voice was full of anger and choking with emotion, her eyes were streaming tears. She stood up and stormed from the room, heading for the front door. I caught up with her in the hall. I grabbed her arm, "Don't go....." "Why not? So that you can find an argument that you can hang on me. I've heard it Chris. I know it Chris. And I don't need it, not anymore." "Because.......Because...." Because what? Because I loved her? Or needed time to say sorry? Or because we couldn't end this way? I was just choosing my words, and looking at her with tears in my eyes. She took one step towards me, and put her arms around me and simply kissed me, fully on the mouth. And I kissed her back. And on the second kiss, my arms went round her, and I kissed her harder. Eventually, our heads parted and I looked into her eyes, "Let's go to bed." was all I said, and I took her hand and led her to the bedroom. She didn't say a word, but she unzipped her dress and let it fall to the floor. Under it she was wearing a matching bra and thong in coffee silk and cream lace, and hold-up stockings and high heeled sandals. And she looked fabulous. I can't say we made love, but it was hell of a lot more than just fucking. There was no foreplay, no oral either way. And it was all missionary position. I changed with the waves of emotion that rolled over me, sometimes I pumped very, very slowly, and watched her, propping myself up on straightened arms above her. Other times, I hammered into her, with my face pressed into her neck and the pillow above her shoulder. I did notice that whenever possible, she watched me. I've never made love to Molly before when she hasn't shut her eyes, but except for when she rode her orgasms, she watched me, looking into my face whenever she could. Eventually, I came in a sweaty, thumping, pile driving final couple of minutes. And I rolled off her. As we lay quietly, getting our breath back and staring at the ceiling, Molly asked in a quiet voice, "Why? Why now? Why as I was about to walk out?" I paused to choose my words, "Because I suddenly saw something that I hadn't realised was missing, but I need so much." I propped myself up my elbow and looked at her, "For a big part of my life I'm a professional managing director. Its what I am, its who I am. And I become the team leader, the businessman; the man who watches for effectiveness and efficiency; who cares about use of assets and how markets are moving. But, I never have a true in depth knowledge or experience of the industry I'm in, it's not the ITI way. So, it's very easy for me to talk absolute crap. To say something that I think is brilliant and very profound, but actually is total bullshit. And very few people will tell me so. Piers probably would. Carole definitely would, if she got to hear of it. Neil might, if it was something professional about HR and Group policy. But the others, I doubt it. They might suggest that we revisit the idea later, or that maybe a consultant should be called in to look at it, but not actually say to me what needs to be said, that it was a crap idea." I paused and put my arm across her body, just below her breasts, "But, suddenly I saw the old Molly. The one who wouldn't take crap from me. And I need that, deep down I need it a lot." I flopped back down to stare at the ceiling again. But then a thought crossed my mind, "You were dressed rather nicely under that dress tonight. Did you know this would happen?" She laughed, "No. If you'd made this move on any of the evenings we've had together in what? Eight weeks? You'd have found me in nice bra's and thongs or strings or lacy panties, and stockings. Tonight, when I showered, I wondered, should I bother? I really thought we were through. I think I dressed as a one last show of bravado for my own sake." "I'm glad you did." "I could do it again, if you like." "Have sex or wear sexy lingerie?" She knelt up alongside me, looking down. "Both." She said, with a smile. She looked down at my cock, and there appeared to be some hesitation about her. "What is it?" I asked, concerned she'd seen something nasty. She looked back at, right into my eyes, "Are we talking again? Are we going to be doing this again?" "I hope so. Why?" "Because I was about to do something that I've wanted to do for so long. I was going to suck you. Do you know, I realised that I can't really remember what you taste like, what you smell like? And I've wanted to be able to do that for so long. I know I used to love sucking you, it really was important to me to be that close to you. And I haven't been able to do that for years." She gave me a serious look, "I really have missed you Chris, remember I haven't had any man in my mouth for so long. And I was just about to do it, but I realised that you probably smell and taste a bit of me at the moment, and that's not what I want." She smiled, "Not that I object to sucking you after you've been in me, but I want just pure you. So, I'll do that another time." "Let's make it a date. How's Thursday in your diary? I could manage having a blow job on Thursday, and I'd hate you to have to go too much longer without satisfying your curiosity." She smiled. "I could manage that." "Fancy a coffee?" I asked, I didn't want to break up the sex, but I did want to talk. So, when she said Yes, I told her to wait there, in bed, and I went off to the kitchen and came back with two mugs of coffee. Once we were settled again, I said "Can we go back to the fateful afternoon a moment? I have a question." Molly was obviously listening and waiting, so I continued, "It's something Jeanette said. She suggested that one of the reasons for your mistake may have been that we had fallen into the habit of safe, vanilla sex, because of the boys and the general pressures of life. That having spontaneous sex was normal and exciting and you missed it, and happily responded when it was available, but it was just the wrong man." She thought about that for quite some time, sipping her coffee. "It's not an excuse. You know that, don't you Chris? I'm not making excuses. But, Yes, I did miss some of the naughtier things we used to do. But I don't know if it influenced me that afternoon or not, and certainly not consciously." "I missed them too. I just thought it was something that went with having two little boys running around the place. The kitchen table in the middle of Sunday afternoon was out." I said with a laugh. She smiled, "Do you remember our first house, before Jamie. It might have been the cause of Jamie, come to think of it. Every room, including that silly little guest toilet. I put so much pressure on that door that time, with my foot sticking straight out, that the door lock always used to jam slightly from that day on. It always made me smile when a guest could be heard rattling the door before it would open." "Well, maybe there's a lesson in this to be learnt by both of us." She raised her coffee mug in a toast, "To slightly kinky, spontaneous, sex. But in private." And privately, to myself, I promised we would just gently push the envelope. On Wednesday, my mood must have been obvious, because Carole brought me my first cup of coffee, looked at me and said, "Well, obviously you sorted something out last night, and you are happy with it." I smiled, "I had a long talk to the delectable Molly. It was a bit touch and go at times, but we got there." And I winked. She smiled, "And you delected! Well that explains a lot. But it is good progress. Immoral, but good progress." "Why immoral?" "Because she is a married woman, and not to you. That was the problem in the first place." She paused, "But I guess to the Catholics you're still married first time around, so I guess they wouldn't mind." "I'm not a theologian, but I think even they may find fault with that argument." "Well, while you're in a good mood, let me spoil it for you." "What?" I said with trepidation. "The powers that be want you at their strategy planning conference in Cannes, Friday to Sunday, 17th to 19th of August. To be followed by attending and speaking at the Group Conference in Hawaii, 3rd to 7th of September." "Nice places." I said, forlornly. "In business terms it could make me, but in private terms I'm not so sure. I assume I don't have an option." "Not really. And you can nominate two ordinary members of staff to go to the Hawaii conference with you. And can I come? I've never been to Hawaii, please Sir, please. I promise to be good. Pretty please." I smiled, "What do they mean by ordinary? And aren't any other directors invited?" "I don't know, the guide lines vaguely refer to executives who make an outstanding contribution. And no other directors are going. It is an exercise in corporate communication and involvement." She shrugged, and added, "Don't ask me." "Well, I guess the obvious two are Piers McBaine and Stephen Hobbs. That way there is a representative of all three establishments. And they'll be good company if I'm going to be trapped in some hotel with them. But you'd better check that they are acceptable before you say anything." I paused, "So who's waiting outside, queuing to see me?" "Myra, with the Abbey development project." "Then send in the delected Myra." "I'd forget about that if I were you." Carole said as she left my office. The meeting with Myra was good. There are occasional business colleagues where you know how they're thinking, and they know how you're thinking. And when you're both on the same side it saves so much time and trouble. I agreed to setting up a group to work with an architect to design new, purpose built laboratories. And I promised to tell Piers all about it, and to launch the project. What I also knew, and didn't talk about, is that Peter Davies has to be a member of that project. On the Thursday, I got in to find Molly cooking in the kitchen. She greeted me with a big smile, and came over to me and kissed me on the lips. Then she stood back and looked worried. I held both her hands, "I meant it on Tuesday, it wasn't a dream, we are back on some sort of track, to see where we end up. As I promised you at Longleat." She kissed me again, "And I meant it on Tuesday, you've got a date with a blow job. Remember?" "I'll let you into a secret, men tend not to forget that sort of appointment. What do you fancy, a glass of wine or a little taster?" "I fancy a little taster, but I'll have a glass of wine." "How about both?" I asked with a hopeful smile.... And from that night on, we were back to where we were before I'd done my best to spoil it all. But there were two major changes. First, there was sex. Great sex. Second, there was a major change in me. I still didn't know if we could put it all back together again, but now I wanted Molly and my family back in my life like I've never wanted anything before. The sex was so important. I guess it released us from all the frustrations and tensions that a celibate life would have imposed. But it was so much more than that. It allowed us to talk. All the delicate discussions that both of us would have had difficulty with, normally because of the fear of hurting the other one, became possible in that open, honest, relaxed atmosphere after sex. We also relaxed a little from the rigidity of the Tuesday and Thursday night schedule. In fact, on that first Saturday, I took her to the theatre, and for dinner afterwards, although we scrupulously and without a word being said avoided significant restaurants in King Street. I did note in my mind that there was another hurdle to be overcome. I wouldn't have no go areas in my life, and certainly not ones created by Peter Fucking Davies. I'm not saying our relationship was easy, because it wasn't. It was easy in parts. We seemed to have an understanding, that we were in each others lives, and maybe that was going to be true for the rest of our lives. And we were happy and easy around each other. But we still had a lot of issues to work out, and we were a long way from living happily ever after. For the rest of July we were on some sort of high of having rediscovered each other sexually, but that calmed down by the last Tuesday of the month, which was the last day of the month. We again talked about the boys schooling, and agreed that for their sake it would be better to leave them where they were for another term. Officially their address was still Peter and Molly's old house, so they did officially live in the correct catchment area, and we had no idea where Molly was going to live in the long term, and they had enough going on in their lives, they didn't need to change to a new and temporary school. We also agreed that they needed a holiday, and we spent a large part of the evening sitting up in bed, after the sex, booking Molly and the boys to go and stay in a nice looking villa in Majorca for the two weeks that started on the day I would fly to Cannes. And, finally, the month ended on a down note, when Molly told me that her Aunt Brenda had phoned her. Apparently, she was mystified with all that was going wrong in Susan's life, and needed to talk to someone. Ralph had basically put the phone down on Derek when he'd tried, so Brenda was trying with Molly. But Molly didn't want to talk to anyone associated with Susan. So she asked me to do it. Great! More bloody Susan. So, I did phone Brenda, but they couldn't meet me in the evenings, because they ran a guest house, and I didn't want to meet in the daytime because I liked to work for my living. Eventually, I agreed to meet both Brenda and Derek, but definitely not Susan, in my office on the Friday, for a sandwich lunch. Bloody Friday again! They arrived late, which annoyed me more. I looked at them, Brenda was obviously Susan's sister, slightly older, but she had kinder eyes and a warmer smile. Derek had a cheerful, open face and a ready smile. I thought they seemed right somehow for running a seaside guesthouse. Apparently they'd had an unhappy guest that morning that had delayed them, and I understood from the "So, it's all the more important that we understand what's been going on." comment that Susan had upset the guest. Once we'd sat down, and had chosen our drinks from the cans that Carole had laid out, I held out my hands as an invitation to start talking. Derek started, "Well, first, thank you Chris for seeing us. I hope you can help. Let me explain, from our point of view." He paused and took a breath, "Some weeks ago Susan phoned and said she wanted to get away for a bit, could she come and stay? We sort of read between the lines that she and Ralph had some sort of problem, so we said yes. But it was low season, and she could actually help. It would save us a week or two of taking on seasonal staff, and we weren't fully booked, so she was welcome to use a bedroom. But that was weeks ago, and it is now high season. And Ralph is divorcing her, and she's very upset. We can understand that, but she tends to talk to some of the guests, and she can go on a bit about her troubles, and it's all becoming a bit of a problem." I smiled, "I can understand that. But, she has money. I can't believe that Ralph is not making her an allowance. So why not charge her?" "Well, it's a bit awkward. She is Brenda's sister, and she is going through a bad patch, and we said she could stay if she helped out a bit. And she's doing that, sort of. But she's in a guest bedroom, not a staff room, and it's all been going on too long." "Well, I'm not sure there is anything I can do. Ralph's divorcing her, his mind is made up. She's got to start building her own life. Why not encourage her to rent a flat somewhere?" Brenda put her sandwich down and asked, "Do you know why Ralph is divorcing her? We don't. I'm not sure that Susan really understands, she knows he's upset with her over something she said or did to Molly, but apparently that was years ago. We know that Molly is upset with her as well. We were wondering if you could talk to Molly, get her to patch things up with Susan, then Ralph might forgive her or whatever. And even if he doesn't, then maybe Susan could go and live with Molly for a bit, we understand that Molly's marriage has fallen apart as well, and she used to be so close to her mother, they might get on well at the moment. They're both sort of in the same boat." I chewed on my ham and salad sandwich, and then I drank some of my orange juice, very aware that there were two expectant faces looking at me, watching me. I was wondering just how much I should say, but the truth seemed the easiest answer. So I did, in fairly short and concise terms, tell them the truth as I knew it. They asked a couple of questions along the way, and I was just finishing with "So, Molly's divorce comes up on September 12th. And Molly and myself talk a lot, but whether we'll actually get back together I don't know. One thing I'm certain about is that at the moment, Molly wants to have nothing to do with her mother whatsoever. Personally, that worries me a bit, but as for Ralph, I think he's just decided that he'd be happier without her than with her." Just then, Carole put her head round the door, I guess she was just back from her own lunch and thought Brenda and Derek either never showed or would be gone by now. Brenda and Derek looked at each other. I felt they didn't know what to say. I had realised from the questions they asked, Susan had given them some idea of what the problems were, without ever telling them the full story. I looked at them and smiled, "Perhaps you'll excuse me for a minute or two, I think my secretary wants a word with me." And I left them to talk. When I came back into the room, it was Derek talking to Brenda, "....I know she's your sister, but we can't have her talking to the guests like she was last night. It'll cost us our reputation. She's got to start living her own life...." Brenda smiled at me, "I'm sorry for what my sister did. I guess history is repeating itself in its way. And it was Susan that was so vehemently angry when it happened to her." Now that got my interest, "Tell me." Brenda sat back, "I don't think you ever knew our father, he'd died before you came onto the scene. He was a very straightforward sort of man. Men worked and earned the money, women kept house and looked after the men. Well Mummy died when she was only forty eight, I'd left home by then, but Susan was still at home. Daddy naturally thought that Susan's job was look after him, now that Mummy wasn't there to do it." Suddenly she looked worried, "Nothing sexual. Please don't think that. No, but it was her job to keep house and do the cooking. She could have boyfriends and go out on dates, but only after she's cooked him a meal and washed up afterwards. And she had to be in by ten thirty because he liked to lock up and go to bed around then. I think she only married Ralph to get away from Daddy." She frowned, "I think that's why Ralph doesn't like me very much. About two weeks after their engagement, I told him he was a silly fool. But they've made it last well over thirty years, so I guess there must have been something in it. But I still think it was more Ralph loving her than the other way around. I guess the imbalance has finally showed." "And that's where Susan learnt that the older generation has a right to demand love and support from the younger generation, I guess." I concluded, but then added, "It's easily done, taking the wrong lessons from the past. I used to think that because I grew up without a father, it didn't matter too much to my sons if I wasn't there. I was wrong. And Susan is wrong." Both of them nodded their heads, "But Susan hates her father for what he did, but she doesn't see the parallel, or certainly doesn't admit to it. She blames you for all of this. When she found out that we were coming here today, she was quite upset that we were being disloyal to her. We were going to talk to the enemy, the man who had wrecked her life. But we just had to find out what was going on." "I know she hates my guts. Well, I guess my coming back to Bristol was the start of it all going wrong for her and Peter. By the way, I don't know how much Peter and Susan are still talking, but I'd be grateful if you don't tell Susan too much about Molly's divorce, or that Molly and myself are talking. It might just spark off some reaction by either Susan or Peter, and I don't want that. Let things just take their natural course. Please." Derek immediately responded, "Not a problem We understand. It can't be easy for you or Molly, or Ralph come to that." As they said goodbye, I wished them well. I'd met them a few times at family gatherings, years ago, but this had been the first time I'd sat down and really talked to them. I thought they were rather nice, but I didn't envy them their problem of having a bitter Susan on their hands. That weekend, Molly and myself had another long discussion about Susan. She did say that Heather Washington was really helping her accept that her mother was out of her life. Apparently, Heather had some difficulty with this, her career was based on bringing people back together and not breaking them up. Molly did admit that she still felt bitter about Susan's betrayal, but it seemed that she was now reconciled to never wanting to see her mother again, and seemed quite philosophical about it. The next couple of weeks went by quickly. I think Molly and myself were really beginning to enjoy our relaxed routine. A pattern was emerging of still spending at least one night a week talking about some aspect or other of all that happened, and that wasn't always easy. But we also went out to dinner, or to see a film or to the theatre on other nights. It was on one of our serious discussion nights that Molly asked about the girls I'd known, especially Helene. It took me some time to tell her everything as well as I could. But, she really didn't like that I'd used prostitutes and brothels, that was somehow beyond acceptable behaviour to her. And Helene warranted a discussion over dinner all to herself, and that was very rough for Molly. Partly, I think it was because Helene and myself had come to no emotional end, except that I moved away, and thought it better for both Helene and myself that I left her in Holland. I couldn't say that I grew to not love her, or that she cheated on me, or a hundred and one endings that Molly would have preferred. I could only say that I had left her behind in every sense. And then there was Myra! Molly really had a thing about Myra, and I could never quite work out why. My first clue was the monosyllabic replies to my chatting over dinner one evening, telling her about some of the things that happened at work. The day before I was meant to have had a late afternoon meeting with Myra to discuss Exeter. But I was running late, and the meeting was only meant to be a short discussion, so when I did get to Myra I apologised for my lateness by sharing a bottle of cold Chardonnay in the local wine bar, and we discussed Exeter there. It was a business meeting of two friends, but Molly obviously didn't like it. And that brought us to mid-August. It was odd going to the airport, four of us in the car. They all took off first, heading for Majorca, but I was only one hour behind them, heading for Cannes. The Group Strategy Conference was good. It was very high-powered. Effectively, it was the main board, plus some support staff from Head Office, and a stream of guys like me, making special presentations. But almost all of those other guys were in and out merchants, only there for a day or even a half day. There was only myself and one other guy, Patrick Redmond, who were there for the whole three days. Obviously, Patrick and myself were destined for great things, we were marked men. Patrick was a really nice guy, and Managing Director of one of our financial services companies in Canada, and we got on really well, which was interesting, as we were obviously rivals for some unnamed prize. My session with the Board was particularly interesting. Not only did I give my report on the future for Franks, but I was allowed to discuss the growth of the health market, especially in Europe, and ITI's possible future. It was at that point that the meeting was joined by two consultants from Hedgerton & Partners, some exclusive corporate advice company from the USA. They had a lot of facts and advice about the health market. By the end of the session it was apparent that the plan was going to be to grow ITI's position in Europe by opportunity, buying companies that seemed appropriate and available. But the core strategy would be in the USA, where corporate takeovers would be actively made to happen to a pre-determined strategy. It became obvious that the centre of any future health division would be in the USA. But the fact that I was there for this discussion made it clear that, at the right time, I would be part of that strategy. When I got back to Bristol on Monday, it was all a bit of an anticlimax. I was bubbling with excitement at having been part of the Strategy Meeting, but I didn't have anyone to bubble to. I missed Molly, and I guess it showed. By Wednesday, Carole had had enough, "Missing them then?" I sighed, "I'm surprised at how much. I guess Molly and the boys and your soap opera have been the focus of my life for months now. And suddenly they're not there." "Have you thought, we have a long weekend coming up, and they do still run flights to Majorca, and they even run them back again on Mondays, even bank holiday Mondays?" "I can't just descend on them for three days. It'd knock their holiday routine completely out. I couldn't, could I?" "I'll check flights." She said and was gone. She was gone a long time, before she came back and said, "Do you know, there isn't one appointment in your diary for tomorrow or Friday and Tuesday that couldn't be cancelled or postponed? And, there's a flight to Majorca leaving at nine o'clock this evening with space on it." "Bloody hell, Carole. How did you do that?" "Easy, you just look up airline travel on the internet." She said with a silly smile. "No. That you can clear my diary for this week and Tuesday. Are you sure? I can't imagine John Wheeler letting me off that sales trip on Tuesday afternoon." Carole smiled, "I haven't worked here sixteen years without knowing where a few of the bodies are buried. Let's just say I called in a few favours." "You'll have to tell me." "I can't. That was the deal." I smiled, that was logical I suppose. And then looked at her, "Do you think I can?" She looked straight at me, "I know you can. But it's up to you whether you do or not." She paused, and leant forward over my desk, "You haven't had a day off since you got here. And not only have you had to learn a new job in a new company, but it's probably been the most turbulent period of your private life ever. Personally, I think six days R&R would do you the world of good." I stared her in the face as I made up my mind, "OK. I'll phone her. And can you clear a bit more of my diary? I've got to go home to early. I've got to pack and get to the airport by seven-ish, if it's a nine o'clock flight." Carole and myself seemed to get through a lot of work in the rest of Wednesday. Every meeting I held seemed to finish early, and I squeezed three extra meetings into one day. I accused her of telling everybody that they had to be quick, but she only smiled, and said that it was surprising what we could do if we tried. I left at four o'clock, promising myself that I must bring back a present for Carole, she deserved it. I came through from customs at Palma airport at five minutes to midnight, and all three of them were there waiting to greet me. Ben ran forward towards me and I swept him up in my arms and I hugged him, "You're up very late." "Mummy said we could all stay up and come and meet you." "And are you having a nice holiday?" "Yes. We've got a swimming pool and there's a big one, and a pizza shop." By now I had got as far as Molly and Jamie. I put Ben down and kissed Molly, but Jamie just stood quietly at her side. "Hello, young man." I tweaked his hair, "Don't you say Hello to your Dad?" "Hi, Dad." He was smiling, but there was a vibe that wasn't quite right. I looked at Molly who mouthed, "It's late and he's tired." Jamie on the other hand, was bubbling. "Come on Daddy, you've got to see the car Mummy's got." He said as he took my hand and started to pull be towards the exit. The car turned out to be a perfectly standard Peugeot Coupe Cabriolet, but when your seven years old and on holiday, I guess driving around in an open car is exciting, especially if it's after midnight. We got back to the villa, which was rather nice in a simple way. It was one of many in a large holiday complex, but it had it's own little swimming pool, as well as access to the big one at the centre of the village. And within ten minutes of getting there, we had the boys in bed. Both myself and Molly saw them to bed, and as we came out, we stood and hugged and kissed in the middle of the living room. "What brought on your need to come out?" She asked. "I missed you. I suddenly realised how much you and the boys are part of my life, and I missed you all. And Carole convinced me that I could do with a few days rest, so here I am." Molly kissed me again, quite passionately, but then said, "There is a sort of a problem." "What?" "Have you forgotten that when you booked this place, it has two bedrooms?" "So?" "So the boys will know that we sleep together." "We haven't slept together since you came back into my life. But we do have sex. Does it worry you that they'll realise if we're in the same bed all night?" She thought about it, "I don't know. It's sort of a public statement, they'll think we're back together, and we aren't, are we?" I smiled, "And that's what I don't know. I'm a long way from convinced that we can make it in the long term. But we are trying, and we've got all the time in the world." I paused and looked at her, she didn't look too upset at my rejection, so I continued, "But I don't see any harm in being honest with the boys as to where we are. Do you?" "I want to sleep with you. I want to wake up next to you." She smiled, "But you can answer any awkward questions that come up." So we went to bed, and we did make love. There was an urgency for both of us, but it wasn't the greatest ever, we were too tired. But it was nice that she didn't have to get up and dressed to go home, and we fell into a contented sleep. It was even better when we woke up in the morning and could resume where we'd left off the night before. Afterwards, we lay in bed and Molly asked, "Can we go shopping sometime today?" "Sure. What for?" She propped herself up, "Well, I didn't know you were coming, so I only brought ordinary cotton panties and bra's. And I've only got one pair of heeled sandals. And I know you like me to dress sexier than that, and I like to. It's important to me too." I smiled, "I do like it - a lot. I think if you asked me for one simple thing I'd change about our marriage, it would be that you wore sexier undies all the time. I know it was good practical sense to wear what you wore, but if I was feeling a little frisky on an average evening, and the boys were in bed. Well I could give you a kiss and a hug, but if my hands wandered under your skirt, what would I find? Run resist tights with those ghastly thick trunks at the top and a pair of supermarket cotton knickers from an economy pack of five. That's a bit of a passion killer, you know." She looked slightly hurt, "I'm sorry. I didn't realise. OK, I'll try to do better in the future. That's why we must go shopping today." "No, it's lovely and warm here. We can get through six days. How about no bra's in the evening, or even no knickers after the boys have gone to bed? And I'll take you shopping for some really nice undies when we get back to the UK, including lots of pairs of stockings." She smiled, "OK. But, I feel awkward if I'm too obvious in front of the boys, it makes me feel uncomfortable. And when we go back, I won't wear thongs and strings all day at work, Sorry. I don't mind them in the evening, then they're special, but not on work days. And I want to be able to wear tights in winter. It can get too draughty for stockings on cold winter days." I laughed, "Are we negotiating? Not that I'm not happy to. OK. But how about a few of those pairs of tights that don't need panties, they've got a sexy panty top and cotton gusset?" She lowered herself to suck my cock, just saying "We'll see." "And that's an unfair negotiating tactic." I spluttered as her mouth closed around me. At breakfast the boys made no mention of where I'd slept, it was just natural that their parents would sleep together. And I guess that helped us all relax into the holiday, and I found that once I started to relax I couldn't stop. By Friday afternoon, you only had to show me a sunbed in the shade and I'd be fast asleep. I woke up once with Ben standing quite near me, but with Molly pulling him away saying "Leave Daddy alone, he's very tired and needs to sleep." I guess Carole was right, I did need a break. There were a couple of instances when history raised its ugly head. Once I spent the best part of an hour in the pool with the two boys, having a great time. When I eventually rejoined Molly on the sunbeds, I noticed she was watching us and close to tears. "What's the matter, you look sad." I asked. "Just the sadness of what I did to our family. It hurts so much." She answered in a very quiet voice. We both watched the boys for a while as they played in the pool. Then I asked, "What's wrong with Jamie? I get a feeling that something isn't quite right, especially with me it seems." Molly smiled grimly, "I wish I knew. He keeps it all to himself. I think Ben's OK, he's a more open character, and he can't remember the time before we split. Life is just life as far as Ben is concerned, and anyway he can talk. But Jamie is a closed book. I know he feels things, sees things, thinks things, but I don't know what." "I'll try having a word with him, if I get a chance." I said. And it was after breakfast on the next day that I got my chance. Jamie had taken his book and was lying by himself on a sunbed whilst myself and Molly cleared the breakfast things and Ben was watching a cartoon in Spanish on the television. I pointed Jamie out to Molly, and said, "Here's my chance." And I went out and sat down on the next sunbed. "You remind me of your Uncle Brian. He always had his head buried in a book. That's how I always think of him when we were boys." Jamie looked up at me, "Is it? I know I've got an Uncle Brian, but I don't know him." He spoke totally neutrally. "No. I guess you wouldn't have seen a lot of my side of your family for the last few years." I paused, "The last few years must have been rough for you and Ben. I'm sorry." "It's been OK." His voice remained unengaged. "Tell me, have you been happy? Was Mummy happy with Peter?" "They laughed a lot, so I guess so. Peter's very good at funny voices. And he always wanted to make Mummy happy. But I think she missed you, Daddy. You shouldn't have left us." I sighed, "I thought it was the best thing I could do. You know that Mummy had an affair with Peter don't you, when she was married to me? Well, that hurt me a lot. And I thought she loved him more than me, so I thought the best thing I could do for all of you was just to go away." "But she didn't love him." He protested. "No. I know that now. And she didn't have a very big affair with him either. But I didn't know that then. And I was very hurt and angry." "Are you still?" "Hurt? Yes, I guess I still am. But I'm not angry anymore." "Then why don't you marry her again? She loves you, I know she does. And she's said she's sorry, hasn't she?" "It takes a long time to put these things right. And we've got lot's of time. She's still married to Peter until she can finalise her divorce." I could see in his eyes, he wasn't totally convinced. So I tried again, "You don't know it yet, Jamie, but you will. Sex and love are one of the most important emotions we all feel. There are times when you're a young man when you can hardly think about anything else. Every girl you see makes you wonder. Every few minutes you think about sex in some way or other...." Jamie half smiled, "I think I know that from some of the books I've read." Now I smiled, "Well, maybe you shouldn't be reading those sorts of books yet." And Jamie smiled at me conspiratorially, and for a moment father and son bonded. I paused and then continued, "Now sex is a wonderful thing, or it can be. It feels great, but far more important is that it is emotionally so satisfying, especially if you fall in love with someone and you commit your whole life to them. Like your Mother and I committed to each other when we got married. And I was heartbroken when she seemed to commit to Peter, even if it was only a mistake one afternoon." I paused and looked at him. I think I was beginning to get through, he had sat up on the edge of the sunbed, facing me and listening. I continued, "Imagine how you would feel if one afternoon you were going to stay late at school for cricket practice say. So Mummy collects Ben and says she'll take him home for his tea, and then she'll come back and collect you at the end of your cricket. But, she doesn't come back. For a couple of hours she leaves you standing at the school gate, feeling very lonely and deserted. Everyone else has gone home, leaving you all by yourself. When she does come, she doesn't properly apologise, she just explains that she and Ben had started a game of Monopoly and she forgot all about you because finishing the game with Ben was very important. How would you feel? That maybe she loves Ben more than you? That she forgets about you easily? That you're not very important to her? How will you feel at the next cricket practice? You'd be worried that she's going to forget you again. You can't quite trust her like you always used to do. Maybe, you'll take a lift with some other cricketer's mother, it would be safer. It would take you a long time to forget all about being left hanging around at the school gate for a couple of hours, wouldn't it? It'd be a long time before you really trusted her again, wouldn't it?" "She wouldn't do that. She loves me and Ben the same, I know she does. And anyway, we're told to go and sit on the seats near the Head Teacher's office if something like that happens." "Yes, don't worry, it wouldn't actually happen, and Yes, Mummy does love both you and Ben the same. I do as well. But maybe that day she just made a simple mistake. Well, it would seem far worse to you on the receiving end. Well, multiply those feelings a hundredfold, and that's a bit like I felt. But we have lots of time, there is no rush. And both Mummy and I love you and Ben a lot, and whatever Mummy and I do, we will always be a family. Promise." He was quiet, thinking. Which was probably the best I could do. "Can you give me some more time, please Jamie? More time for me to learn to love and trust her again." He smiled. At last! I thought. "Sure. Just get to the right answer, Dad." "I'll do my best, son." I said and went indoors. I was found Molly in the little kitchen, trying to keep Ben attention so that he wouldn't come out to find his brother and father. "It's alright, Ben, you can go for your swim now." Molly looked at me, and I said, "You're right, he watches and he thinks. He knows what's going on. But I talked honestly, and said it would take time to get to wherever we are going. I think he appreciated that I talked to him. I guess we'll see if he cheers up or not." Molly gave me a hug, "Well done, and thank you." Everyone was happier after that, I guess we had crossed some sort of bridge. Jamie was definitely happier with me. And as I sat and watched my family at dinner one evening, I couldn't help but look at Molly. And I knew I also had to talk to her before this holiday was over, or at least to say something that I need to say to her. On the Monday night, which was really my last night with them all, I arranged a babysitter through the central office of the holiday village, so that I could take Molly out to dinner. She came out of the bathroom as I was laying on the bed, reading. She looked gorgeous in a simple dress with spaghetti straps over the shoulders, and it fell to just above the knee. It was obvious, at least to me, that she wasn't wearing a bra, her breasts softly jiggled under the material. I stood up, "You look good. But...." "But what?" She looked concerned. "But, my guess is that you're wearing panties, and you shouldn't be." I said with a smile. She looked very hesitant. To the best of my knowledge, she had never been out without knickers, certainly not with me, and I assumed that she had never done it for Peter. "I'll make it worth your while. I'll let you into a secret." She looked at me, very hesitantly. But then her hands went under her skirt, and she sort of shimmied out of her panties and bent over to take them off her high heeled sandals. She held them up and walked towards me, "Well?" I looked at her, into her eyes as she approached, "I love you, Molly. I love you." I said. She fell into my arms, and we kissed, "I'll never wear panties again." She said. "I might hold you to that." "I was speaking figuratively." She laughed, but then she leant back to look at me, very questioningly. I knew what she was asking, but before I said anything, she asked, "Am I allowed to say that I love you, now?" "I love to hear it." I kissed her forehead, and then added, "I guess we are now at the end of the beginning. Now we really can find out if we can put it back together. Now you know that I want to." We had a good evening, and memorable sex. And I was really sad to leave them all the next day. On my first day back, Carole brought me my first cup of coffee of the day, and a sheaf of notes that looked as if I was going to be busy all morning just reading them. "OK. You were right. I did need a break. And it was wonderful." "So? Any news?" She asked. "Not really, except that I told her I loved her, which was a big line to cross. So, as I said to Molly, we are now really trying to find out if we can make it work." "Well, if you find out how to make a marriage work all the time, let me know." "Problems?" "Nothing we won't get through. Rick is just getting more and more fed up with his job. And I'm spending a lot of my time planning and cooking for this 70th wedding anniversary that I told you about. And Rick would like a little more of my time." "Maybe you need a holiday." I suggested. "I would if I thought Rick would actually take one. He moans all the time about his job, but just works harder and harder." "Well, take one when you can. I can cope with a temp for a week or two." "Thanks. And best of luck with Molly. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help." I smiled, and Carole was heading out of my office when I said, "Just keep bringing me more coffee and less notes. Oh, and can you ask Myra to come and see me." "She's out for the rest of the week. She'll be here when you get back from Hawaii." "Oh." Was all I could say. I guessed that Head Office had her chasing around on something, after all she was H.O. staff. And anyway, chasing up on the planning for the new Abbey laboratories could wait until after I came back from Hawaii, I wasn't that anxious to sit in a meeting with Peter Davies on some redevelopment committee, it was just that I felt I could face him with confidence. Molly and the boys were back on Friday, and I went around to Ralph's in the evening to see them all. I asked Molly what she would like to do on the Saturday, and she said she would like to come around to my flat and cook me a meal, and sit and talk. So that's what we did. She arrived saying that she'd warned Ralph that she might not be home that night, and apparently he wasn't in the least bit worried by that. So, it sounded as if it was going to be a very promising evening. Molly cooked, and it was superb, so I complimented her. In fact I cautiously mentioned that I thought she was now a better cook than I remembered. That became a self-inflicted wound when she told me that Peter was an excellent cook and had taught her so much. I could have done without that. So we changed subject. Now Molly had a fascination with my sex life in my wilderness years, and she asked about my memorable sexual experiences. What had I learnt? What did I want to repeat? What wouldn't I want to ever do again? The questions were reasonable, and the discussion was good. I told her about the girl I'd teamed up with for a period of three weeks consultancy in Prague. She had been very anal. I was never quite sure whether she always wanted anal sex because she enjoyed it, or whether it was because she was convinced that it pleased the man. But either way, I got a lot of anal sex for those few weeks. And that led onto a discussion of anal sex, something that Molly and myself had not yet done since we got back together. Molly smiled when I hinted, and said I had to remember that she hadn't done it for years, and when the time was right, I would have to be very gentle. That led on to talking about a girl I found in Mexico, who would actually anally fuck herself on my cock. I only had to put my cock head on her anus, and she pushed back and did all the work. That was a great sensation. I could actually remain quite still, which I could do in the early minutes, and she'd work up her own rhythm of fucking herself on me. I think that rather worried Molly, she couldn't quite see herself being able to do that, so she guided the conversation on to oral sex. And that's where it really all fell apart. I said I'd once eaten out a totally bald pussy, and I loved it, and really wanted to do it again. Now I'd never realised, but Molly does not want a bald pussy. She sees it as a step too far for some reason. And she really wasn't happy that I'd hoped that she would let it happen. But then it got worse. She wanted to know who this girl was; she must have been some terrible fetish slut. And, as much as I could I tried to avoid answering that, eventually I had to admit that it was Myra. There was a fairly stony silence after that for a while. I tried explaining that Myra was a nice girl, that she had her reasons to shave, that she was a good colleague, that she had a new boyfriend. All to no avail. Eventually, I tried just hugging, cuddling, kissing gently, and suggesting that we could just go to bed. She was obviously hesitant, so I said, "Are you really this upset about a girl who was only a short affair and before we got back together?" "It's just that you work with her. You see her everyday." She said, but I felt a softening in her voice. And then I opened my big mouth, "Just like you and Peter worked together at the Hospital." She went home after that! And I lay in bed half the night staring at the ceiling in the dark. In fairness, she came back before breakfast on Sunday morning. And we both said we were sorry. And we made up in the traditional manner. I guess it was another bridge crossed, but it wasn't one I don't want to cross again. I travelled to Hawaii with both Piers McBaine and Stephen Hobbs, and we all chatted happily, but it was still a long, long flight and I'd rather have been in Bristol. But we got there. Once I'd checked in to the conference hotel and got to my suite, I logged on and checked my email. There was one from Carole to say that she'd decided, in my absence, to take three days off, but that she would be back on Thursday, in plenty of time to get ready to brief me on the state of play for my return. I sent an OK reply to Carole, and a message to Molly just to say that I'd arrived. My conference started the next morning with a breakfast for all speakers. And as I came into the breakfast room who do a see but Myra. "Hello. I was about to say: what are you doing here? But I guess Head Office brought you for a reason. It would have been nice of them to tell me." She smiled, "Yes. Group Accounts want me to do a seminar on group accounting policies. They're convinced that some of the rules they lay down are not always observed as well as they might be. You know, using agreed exchange rates, and codings, all the basics. So I've got to do the same seminar in one of the break out sessions every afternoon for five days. And I'm sorry, but I know someone did try phoning you to tell you, I think you were having a few days holiday, and probably the message never caught up with you." "Well, that's not your fault. I will save it until I need a bullet against London. What are you doing for the rest of the time? Do the Head Office people have their own programme?" "Oh No. I just sit at the back of the hall and listen, like everyone else. I'm looking forward to your bit on Wednesday." "You won't like it. You've heard all the jokes before. And there's no real news in it. Just forward thinking on what a Health Division might look like." She smiled, "With a young, forward thinking Divisional Director?" Now I smiled, "The thought never crossed my mind." I paused to look her in the eyes, "Let's find time this week to catch up with each other. We haven't really had a chance to really talk about the important things since you gave me your homily on people staying essentially the same. You were right about that by the way." She smiled, "Women generally are. And I'd like to catch up." After that Piers, Stephen and myself seemed to go around like a threesome. Of course I knew a lot more people than they did, and I could introduce them to a lot of ITI stalwarts. I didn't see much of Myra, and I thought I would have to go and seek her out at some stage. I was in the bar with the pair of them on the Wednesday evening, bathing in the glory of my presentation having gone down superbly well. Two of the main board directors had come up to both congratulate me, and to tell me that they've insisted that the video of my presentation is sent out to all companies in their divisions. I was on a roll! Stephen however wasn't. "Please, Chris, don't ever bring me on one of these things ever again. I'm an engineer. I like solving engineering problems, not sitting in hall whilst some guy I don't know tells me all about his exciting plans to conquer the world with his new frozen yoghurt product. Just leave me in Exeter where I'm happy. Please." We were onto about our third 'Cocktail of the Day' by that time, and a degree of honesty had crept into our conversation. What struck me was that he was dashing my high hopes for Stephen's future. I couldn't promote him to be a director of Bristol's production line, with the necessity for any of Frank's director to have to play the ITI corporate game. On the other hand, Piers was in his element. He just loved learning about the ITI Group, and seemed happy introducing himself to all sorts of people. What I also noticed and admired was that he had a natural presence. People noticed him and treated him with respect, without even knowing who he was. I was just draining that third cocktail, and thinking these thoughts, when Myra came up. All three of us greeted her warmly, and I invited her to join us for dinner. As we sat in the dining room, I noticed that quite a few guys came up to chat, on the excuse of congratulating me on my presentation. But then, whilst looking directly at Myra, they would ask me if they might join us in the bar later. Myra would immediately interrupt to say that she was going to break up the party soon anyway, and with heavy emphasis, because she had to go and send a long email of news to her boyfriend in the UK. They seemed to wander off after that. We didn't actually break up until a group of guys came around saying they'd heard of a great bar that they fancied visiting. The way they said it, and that they seemed awkward in front of Myra when saying it, told me and everyone else at the table that it was a strip joint at the very least. Stephen looked at me as if asking permission as he said he fancied going along. So we were now just Myra, Piers and myself. We sat on a terrace and gently sipped our drinks and chatted. I then said I fancied going for a walk along the shoreline. Myra was up for it, but Piers said he fancied the idea of going to bed more. So myself and Myra went for a stroll. For a while we walked in comfortable silence. But then I said, "This walk isn't happening." "Why not?" she asked. "Because Molly has a bit of a bee in her bonnet about you. I don't think she'd appreciate that I'm strolling along a moonlit beach with you at ten o'clock at night." "She should meet up with Will. I'd already decided that this wasn't happening as far as he was concerned." "Has he got a been in his bonnet about me? What have I done?" I felt the smile in her voice as she answered, "Well, in crude terms, you did me. And you're my boss, so it's obvious that you took an unfair advantage of me. What did I do that upset Molly, beyond telling her that I wasn't going to let you go? Mind you, that could have been upsetting." "Well, I guess that was the start of it. She sort of had her hopes that night which you rather crushed, without knowing of course. Now I think she's just straightforwardly jealous, only....." I paused, I wasn't sure how to explain with delicacy. So I changed the subject, "I didn't take advantage, did I?" "No. I've tried to explain to Will that I wouldn't be with him if it wasn't our little affair that put me back on the right road, so to speak." I laughed, "I agree. He should thank me that I've had great sex with his girlfriend. He's being very ungrateful. What is wrong with the man? It's as if he was falling in love with you or something." There was a long pause before Myra said, "Oh! I hope he is." "Is that the voice of a girl who is in love." She laughed, "I think it might be. I'm missing him so much this week. And yet we don't see each other mid-week normally anyway. We chat on the telephone, but it's just the feeling that he's just down the road when I'm in Bath and he's in Exeter. I don't like being thousands of miles away and in another time zone." "Good. It's a nice feeling really, isn't it?" "I take it you know what it feels like?" She asked. "Yes, I think I do. No, in fact I know I do." I shrugged, "But I don't know if we can make it. But we're both trying." "So? What is it about me that upsets her?" "Officially? That we work together. Unofficially is a little more personal. Are you sure you want to know?" "I think I can take it." "OK. We were in a conversation about memorable sex, and I said I'd once eaten out a completely shaven pussy, and that I loved it and wanted to do it again with her some time, when the time was right. And Molly wanted to know where I'd come across such a flagrant abuse of female adulthood. And after a lot of wheedling by her, and avoidance by me, I admitted it was you." Myra burst out laughing, with sideways looks at me to check that I meant it, "Tell her that you can't repeat it with me, baldness wasn't Will's thing. So it's up to her now." Now I laughed, "Any idea how I tell her that we strolled along this beach by moonlight, late at night, discussing your pussy hair?" "Knowing how to handle these difficult situations is what makes you managing director, and the up and coming star of ITI." "Gee, thanks!" We strolled along in silence for a while, and were almost back to our hotel when I suggested, "Maybe we should face up to the problem. How about the four of us go out to dinner one evening? Nothing formal or special, a low key bistro type dinner." "OK. But it would have to be on a Friday evening when Will is coming my way for the weekend. I go down to Exeter quite a lot, it's rarer for him to come up to Bath." "Well, let me know when." I said as we entered the hotel lobby and were just passing the bar, "Fancy a nightcap?" "No thanks. I will actually go and send a newsy email to my boyfriend." She answered and headed for the elevators. It was the following morning, Thursday morning, that Piers upset me at breakfast. "I should have taken a walk with you last night. I went to bed, but for some reason I didn't sleep well. So, when the time zones were right, I phoned the Abbey, just to catch up on any news." "And was there any?" "Not a lot. I spoke to Peter. He sounded quite cheerful, and I was bold enough to remark that he was, that he had reconciled himself to the divorce and sounded as if he was in a very positive frame of mind." "Good." Was all I said. But Piers looked at me, and I knew I wasn't going to like what was coming, "He said: he wasn't divorced yet, and he had hopes he never would be." 2335 1.57/512345