Ben and Melissa Pt 3

BEN AND MELISSA Pt 3 By Matt Moreau "The laughter," I said, "it was the one thing that had really crossed the line for me, and it still rankles. "I hate to beat a dead horse, Jerry; but I am going to ask you the same question I asked Melissa that last day in the hotel. Why did you feel the need to laugh at me? I find it real hard to believe that it was just because the two of you felt guilty." "Truth is," he said, "apart from what I told you, I really don't know. It was a mood, we did feel guilty, the both of us. I was jealous of you. She kept telling me to shut up about you. I kept cracking jokes about you to get her to lighten up. It was a lot of things. I ain't lyin', Mr. Holden; that's the way it was." I sat back in my chair and considered his words. He had no reason to lie, as he had said. I actually wanted to believe him, but who knew what his agenda might be. Was he sincere in apologizing, trying to set things straight? Did it matter after all of this time? Why did I feel uneasy? I had to end it, but I also wanted to see this asshole again. I needed to even if I didn't know quite why I needed to. I had more questions, and I needed to have them answered. Damn him! for upsetting my world yet again, albeit in a different way. "Mr. Cummings. Thank you for coming in. I really am busy, but I do appreciate your words. And..." Did I really want to say what I was about to say? "Come back next week, same day same time. I want to talk with you some more. No, do this instead, meet me at the Round Tree for lunch?make it noon sharp." "Oh, okay," he said. "I didn't expect..." "Yes, yes, but you being here was unexpected too. Lunch next week, okay?" "Yes, sure." He was no more than ten seconds out the door before I was ringing Rex. I'd had the germ of an idea, and I wanted to explore it. They say the Buddha had achieved bodisattvahood in seven years; it had only taken me four?maybe. "Rex ... yeah it's me ... right ... say listen, Cummings was here today ... did I stutter ... yeah, yeah ... can you come over ... uhhuh ... I'll be waiting." He was there I less than half an hour. I had Sonia just wave him in. "Okay, Ben, what's the deal? You actually saw the guy? Talked to him?" "Believe it or not. I'm more surprised than you are. He came to abjectly apologize, and he did. I guess he got out of prison a few months ago. He also told me some stuff that I really would like to know the truth of, and, I thought maybe you could help me out, either you or Annie; or, maybe both," I said. "I gotta know, Rex, and frankly I'm chicken to do it myself." "Sure if I can," said Rex. I gave him the long version and he kept nodding as I sang my song. "So whaddya think," I said. "Wow! I don't know. He was right about one thing; he had no reason to lie. He might be pulling something that's not immediately apparent, but on the surface what he said seems kosher," said Rex. "Still, I think you oughta do this on your own." "I just can't Rex. I just can't. It would kill me if I tried, and she spit on me. So, do you think you can find her?" "Sure. But I'm gonna let Annie quiz her? She's a woman, and she won't be swayed by another woman's act. Plus, she's had experience in this area," he said. "Experience?" I said. "Yeah, her mom did some cheating?twice?it was a tough row for her and her dad. But, the whole scene eventually had a happy ending. "Anyway, I'll be in reserve, but I will let her do the actual sit down if Mel is willing to sit down that is." "It just occurred to me. It's been four years since I've seen or heard from her. She might be remarried. Before you do anything, find out what's up with her first, okay?" "Sure, but what if she is single-o? Are you thinking you might get back with her?" said Rex. "I don't know. No, I'm not thinking that way at the moment, but stranger things have happened. And, I don't mind telling you; I have never been able to get her out of my mind, but then you know that don't you," I said. I was expecting to hear back from Rex in two or three days, but I heard back from him in less than four hours. "Yeah, I got it. It was easy. She's not hiding. I had the info in less than two hours." "Well," I said, "let me have it." "Okay, she's not married. No known attachments either. She works for a PR firm called Wells Good Will Services. She's a top agent for them. She's pulling down maybe sixty-k annual, and in the company she's considered an almost pathological workaholic." "Okay," I said. "But where is she." "Well, she sure ain't in California anymore. She's in Dallas." "Have Annie come by. I wanna talk to her before she heads out." "Consider it done." The plane touched down in Dallas fifteen minutes ahead of schedule. Annie Carter was alone. This was not the kind of job that required stealth. It was going to be either straight up conversation or straight up confrontation; and it was six to five and pick'em on the morning line. She gave the driver the address to Wells Good Will Services. No use wasting time. If she could catch the woman in, she could be done in a day one way or the other. The offices of WGWS were located on the fifth floor of a ten story structure downtown. She straightened her business suit and caught a going-up Otis. The receptionist looked to be nearing retirement, but the smile and the greeting gave Annie to realize why she worked there: she was good. She introduced herself and asked to see Melissa Holden. The lady indicated a seat and she took it. The woman made the call on the intercom and listened for the response. "Ms. Holden will be right out, miss." Annie wondered what the woman would look like. So far, while she knew all about her, she hadn't yet seen a photo; it hadn't been necessary. The door swung open and a middle aged woman with medium length hair in a smart business suit marched right up to her. "Hi, I'm Melissa Holden. You're here for the agent's position, am I right?" She smiled winsomely. "Uh, no ma'am. My name is Annie Carter. I'm here to see you about something private and very personal," she said. The woman looked her askance. "Oh, may I know who or what this about?" she tested. "It is personal ma'am." "Well, okay, follow me," she said. "Mary, hold my calls." Mary nodded. In the office, Melissa offered her visitor a cup of coffee or... ; Annie opted for tea. Melissa busied herself getting the tea. She made an effort to anticipate what this young woman might want; she was intrigued. "So, what's this all about," said Melissa. "I'm here to ask you a few things at the request of Ben Holden," said Annie. Melissa's face went sheet-white. "Ben!" "Yes ma'am." "Please, call me Melissa. So how is my ex-husband?" She'd recovered and was more than a little curious. "He's fine. He's interested in knowing if you would be willing to meet with him." Melissa paused. She phrased her response. "Why didn't he come himself," said Melissa. "I didn't ask, but if I had to guess, he wanted to avoid a confrontation if you were not amenable. I should tell you that Mr. Cummings is out of prison and has been to see Ben himself." "Oh my gawd!" "No, no, evidently it was an amicable meet. Mr. Cummings said some things that made Mr. Holden very anxious to meet with you if you're willing." "Here or there?" "He told me to tell you that he'd like it there, but he would come here if you insisted," said Annie. "You know it just occurred to me to ask. Who are you? Are you his girlfriend or... ?" "Oh my gawd no!" said Annie. "I work with Rex Coleman; I'm a PI." "Aren't you a little young for a job like that?" said Melissa. "I'm twenty-three and hold a degree in Criminal Justice and a third dan in Okinawan karate," said Annie, smiling broadly. "I see," said Melissa, smirking. "Am I allowed to ask any questions here?" "Sure, Mr. Holden said to tell you anything you wanted to know." "Nice of him," said Melissa with just a trace of sarcasm in her voice. "Is he married?" "No, and my boss said to tell you he doesn't date." Melissa felt like she'd just received a dozen long stem roses. "What does he want from me?" "Well, that's a tricky one, and I knew you'd ask. He said what he wants is clarification of a few things that Mr. Cummings told him. But..." "But what?" said Melissa. "I'm not sure, Melissa. But, I am of the opinion that he misses you. He didn't tell me to tell you that," said Annie. "I see. He kicks my ass to the curb and now he wants to see me." "That's about it, yes," said Annie. "Shall I tell him no then?" Melissa was lost in thought. This girl knew how to steer a conversation. Too bad she wasn't applying for the job. "Tell him to come here. He's the one that wants to see me. "Anything else?" said Melissa. "No, that about covers it. He anticipated that that would be your choice. He asked if dinner Friday next would be good for you." "Tell him that would be fine. I will make reservations at the Columbus Club here in town. "One more thing, Annie: what does he know about me?" Annie inclined her head as if to say, isn't it obvious. "Everything, Ms. Holden, including the fact that you aren't dating either." Melissa just nodded her understanding. After her meeting with Annie, Melissa Holden sat stone still in her chair and sobbed. Four years and she had heard nothing. Her husband, her ex-husband, had kicked her out; and, she admitted, he'd had cause. But now, that same man wanted to see her. Why? She sincerely doubted that he wanted her back. The divorce had been a sullen affair for her; she hadn't contested anything. She'd essentially just left town. She had been able to get a good recommendation from her supervisor, and that had parlayed itself into a decent job at WGWS. She'd moved up the ladder, and now was living the good life, if one could call what she had a good life; she didn't. And, what about Jerry? He'd suffered the most because of her. He'd been condemned to prison, but he had evidently been paroled after some three years. Well, it hadn't been her that sent him up exactly; it had been his own greed, but she had been the catalyst by which he had been caught and convicted. She'd visited him once soon after he's been incarcerated; it had been one of the saddest moments in her life. She had been as kind as she could, but she had let him know that he and she were no longer an item. She had held a thing for Jerry for some twenty years, but their cheating and the subsequent upheaval had shown her that she had been woefully in the wrong. She'd destroyed a good man, her own life, and had at least been instrumental in bringing down her lover. What was the old saying: "Cheaters never prosper." Now, after four years, she would be facing the man she had destroyed; it was not going to be easy. But, he'd asked for the meeting; and, truth told, she was curious. His plane landed at Dallas-Fort Worth at 2:00 in the afternoon. He'd arranged it, so as to be able to relax a little before his 7:00PM appointment with his former wife. He wondered what she looked like. Well, it didn't matter; he'd soon know. The goal was to find out just what had happened that horrible day four years before. Oh, there was no doubt about the cheating; she was guilty, and he had felt the full weight of a humiliated and discarded spouse. The hurt had been unimaginably intense. And, it had been made doubly so because of the laughter; he'd never been able to get over that; it had all but destroyed him. The damage to his psyche as a result of everything had been so bad as to have required psychological therapy. He'd been seeing a shrink almost from the beginning. The shrink had been able to assuage some of his pain but not all. The Columbus Club was definitely upscale. No loud crashing sounds from the band, no plastic tablecloths. The wine glasses were crystal and the menus two feet tall and leather bound. Mel sat at a table near a picture window and distant from the stage where a piano was backing up a pretty good contralto. She'd come to love the soft music, the dim romantic lighting, and what she had come to regard as the kindness that the servers displayed in their routine rounds. She saw him speak to the maitre'd when he entered. He ushered him to the table. She smiled at him. He returned the favor. "You look good Mel. I don't know what I expected, but you look good. You look happy," he said. "Thanks, you're looking pretty good yourself. Glad you came," she said. "Shall we order first," he said. She nodded. A waitress arrived with a bottle of chilled wine. "I took the liberty of ordering some wine; I hope you don't mind," she said. "No, that's fine," he said. "Anyway, how have you been?" "Okay. I'm working; I work a lot. It takes my mind off of other things," the pause was pregnant. She sipped her wine. "Yeah, me too," he said, sipping his. The waitress returned and took their orders. "I was surprised," she said. "I never thought that I would see you again." "It was not something I had marked on my calendar either," he said. "But, when your ex-boyfriend showed up, it got me to remembering; and, frankly, I was curious. And..." He paused not knowing exactly how to phrase what he wanted to say. "I still want to know," he said. "The why?" "Yes, but more, why you despised me so," he said, testing the waters. Her face darkened. She had promised herself that she would not cry. This was going to be a business meeting. She would tell him what he wanted to know. Give him closure. But, she was weakening; the meeting was becoming important to her as well. "He was the boy in that Buick that I told you about. You know when I was a teenager. He was my first love. At first I thought that I had grown up and the world was different for me. You had helped me so much?when you didn't have to. But, I had not grown up, and I had not stopped loving him," she said. He raised a hand indicating she should continue. "The problem was that I was in love with you too. Talk about a rock and a hard place. My first love and the love of my life both in the same place at the same time. I was either the luckiest girl who ever breathed air or the unluckiest. Turns out I was the unluckiest, I guess," she said. "But I digress. I actually made the conscious decision to divide my time between the two of you. The bad part was that you didn't know anything about it; and I was feeling about as guilty as I could. "When we couldn't use our usual rendezvous, I made up my mind to clue you so that you would get rid of me. I had cheated. In knew you would try to resurrect me and our marriage if you just heard about it or figured it out some way, and that wasn't fair to you. "I had dishonored you. I didn't deserve you. I wanted to get away from you so that you could be whole again, and I could avoid the punishing reality that would be my life if you took me back and were good to me?too good to me. I couldn't bear not to be trusted by you anymore, and that is the reason for my fucking him in our house." "But, how can that be? You didn't know I would be there," he said. "No, that's not so. I didn't know you'd be there that early. Oh no, I fully intended to keep going at it until you did get home. I wanted to be caught and punished: sent packing. But then something awful happened; I wasn't prepared for it. My mind flipped, and I couldn't go through with my plan. So I got him outta there when you called, and tried to fix the place up so that you wouldn't know." "Yes?" "Well, you know the rest. You caught us at the hotel, and..." "You still didn't answer my question?" he said. "I didn't despise you, Ben, at least believe that. I don't know why you would think that." "Because of the way you laughed at me. Nothing got to me more than that. I didn't deserve that. I had never done anything to you?or him either if it comes to that. So why, Mel, why?" "Is it so important to you then? Why we laughed?" "The most important," he said. "Because we were getting away with it. You were always so on top of things. Nothing got past you. You'd been around legal things forever. But, you had no clue. It was funny. I know it sounds cold to say it, but it was funny. But despise you? Never! I honored you, and I still do. You are the original good guy. I threw away everything when I threw away our marriage. Truth be told, I wish you would take me back. Oh, I know that will never happen, but I wanted to say it anyway." "Mel, your honesty tonight makes me feel?I don't know how it makes me feel, but it's something." "I promised myself that I would be straight with you tonight," she said. "You deserve that much for damn sure." "You haven't asked about Jerry Cummings," he said. "No. Jerry and I have nothing any longer. Not since he was sent up. I did visit him once, soon after he was imprisoned. I had to let him know that we were through. He understood. It was sad day in some respects, but it freed my mind from the past in others." I nodded my understanding of what she said, but I doubted her. He was thinking. "Mel, I want you come back to L.A. next week. Can you do that?" She looked at him with knitted brow. "Why? What would be the point?" she said. "I'm not sure myself. Will you come?" She thought for a long minute. "Maybe. I guess. Okay, I suppose I can do it." "Thursday?" "Okay, Thursday." I decided to have lunch with Rex on Sunday. I had him come over to my place. I needed a little bit of help for what I had planned, and I also wanted his input. "You can't be serious," said Rex, as I flipped the burgers on the patio grill." "As a heart attack," I said. "I am going to get me closure on them laughing at me that day if it's the last thing I do." "You know your ego is way too delicate, Ben. What does it matter what a couple of idiots think or do or laugh at?" "If you only look at the facts, Rex, if you only use your logical brain, if you really don't care about what people think; then, I have to agree with you. But it ain't about logic or facts or any of that. "I dedicated my life and my heart to that woman and she crushed it. Him too, but I really do not give a damn about what he thinks?thought. But I cared a lot about what she thinks and thought," I said. "Thinks?" said Rex. "Yeah, I still care. I care a lot. I want to make it so she can never have a thought like that again about me. I wanna make it so she'll shoot anybody who does," I said. "You do still love her don't you?" he said. "In a way. Not like in the beginning, not like before. There's way too much trash in the yard for me to go back. But, I am damn sure going to get closure; it's been gnawing at me for the last four years and it's not going away," I said. "So whaddya think of my idea? Really?" I said. "It's unique. One thing for sure, if it doesn't work; then, it's proof positive that there is no gawd," he said. Rex was stationed where he needed to be. Just outside the entrance to the Round Tree. He'd found a stone seat near a small water fountain in the parking area. It was still too early for the lunch crowd to star filing in. He sipped the hot, oil-dark liquid rhythmically. Nothing like a late morning cup on a cool day, he thought. "He looked at his watch. It was three minutes to eleven. He saw her. She was dressed smartly: dark brown skirt, business jacket that was part of the ensemble, hair cascading to a little past her shoulders, and low heels. She may have been fifty years old, but she looked thirty-five. He understood Ben's obsession with this woman. He watched as she entered the restaurant. "Hi," said Ben as she approached. "Hi, Ben. The place looks the same. I have to tell you; I almost didn't come," she said taking a seat. "But, I said I would so here I am." "Don't worry, Melissa, you didn't make a mistake. The only reason I had you come here was in case I am wrong, and then no harm no foul as they say." "Wrong? Wrong about what?" she said. "Before we talk, would you like something? I've ordered a beer," I said. "Same," she said. He held up two fingers signaling the waitress who had been forewarned that he would do so. The two drafts were delivered one minute later. Melissa sipped at the golden elixir. "Okay," she said, "wrong?" "I've done my homework, Mel. You know me, ever the investigator, researcher." "Yes of course, but..." "You say you visited him in prison?" I said. "Yes, I told you that. I broke it off with him. That was more than three years ago. I told you. I didn't lie to you, Ben." "No, no, I know you didn't lie. That's not what I'm getting at. Why did you break it off with him?" I said. "I?I?it was the right thing to do, that's why." "The right thing to do, Mel?" I said. "Too much water under the bridge. Too many bad things happened. He?and I?were guilty of so many things?I just couldn't deal with any of it anymore. I had to get away from all of it. He understood. It had to be done." "You think about him much, I mean now?" I said. "Ben, what is all this about? Why are you asking me about him? He's history. Hell, I'm history if it comes to that," she said. "Is he? I think you're still in love with him," I said. "What!" I sat back and smiled. I'd struck a nerve and I was enjoying the hell out of it. "Ben, I am no longer in love with him. Actually if it is of any consequence to you, I'm still in love with you," she said. "Thank you for that, I said. "I think that you do love me, in a way. But it's not the passionate husband-wife love that I need or that you need. I thought we had that once. And, I think I did; I know I did. But, you, always in the back of your mind were the events of that night in the back seat of that Buick with him when you were both teenagers. You never got by that. "You cheated with him, and I think it was a struggle for you to do it, at first anyway. But, as you continued and got away with it more and more; you began giving him what you should have been giving me. That was a whole lot of stuff for me to swallow; I don't mind telling you; it hurt real bad!" "Ben, you know I can never forgive myself for that. I know I hurt you. I deserved exactly what I got, and so did he. We've paid, and that dearly. I hope you understand, that as much as I regret all of it; I have had to get on with my life, and get past it," she said. "I refuse to beat myself up anymore than I already have." "And you are right about that; you must not beat yourself up about it anymore. Do let it go. I hope after today that I can do as much," I said. "But, in truth, I don't think that you've not gotten past it as well as you think; and I think you know it," I said. "Ben, I have so! I have a good job now. I have a nice place. I have a life," she said. "Yes, I guess you could argue the point. But, no friends, no dates in four years, no activities that are not directly job related. You're hiding from life, Mel, and I have been too. But, after today both of us are done fooling ourselves." She started to object, but he raised his hand to stop her. "Bear with me, okay?" I said. "You have a problem. I know you still love that guy, and I understand it now. I actually got an understanding of it in therapy after our breakup. "I cannot share the woman in my life with anyone. It just ain't happenin'. And, I need a woman in my life. The thing is it can't be you; you're heart wouldn't be in it, not really. Tell me if I'm wrong, but if I'd asked you to marry me today that you would have accepted, and that tearfully?" "Ben?I?" "Just tell me if I'm wrong," I said, a little too forcefully. "Maybe, I've thought about it," she said. "But, that would have been a horrendous mistake. I do not want to live some rewritten script of the Heloise and Abelard saga. There would have been no possible happy ending to a story like that, and that's for sure. And, Mel, I want to be happy. I've thrown away four years because of all of this, and so have you. I guess in a way we've both been punished for our mistakes. But, make no mistake, there will always be a small corner in this heart of mine for you; I admit it." "Ben, I don't know what to say. And, I don't know what you're saying. What are you getting at for gawd's sake!" Rex saw him arrive and intercepted him. "Mr. Cummings. Please come with me," said Rex. He pulled him aside to where they were out of the way of the now arriving lunch crowd; it was almost noon. "What do you want? I have a meeting inside..." "Yes, I know, and I will take you to it, in a minute. Just bear with me," said Rex. Rex looked at his watch. It was straight up noon. "Let's go inside," he said finally. Rex led him physically to the table where Ben and Melissa were sitting. Jerry Cummings didn't see them till they were almost on top of them because he was trying to get free of the arm hold that his guide was enforcing. They stopped four feet behind the woman's chair. "Hello, Jerry," said Ben, looking up at the new arrivals. Melissa spun around. "Jerry!" "Melissa!" "Have a seat gentlemen," said Ben. Jerry slid in across from Melissa, and Rex took the fourth seat. "I never thought I'd be doing this," i said. "But it's the only way I can get closure. What you two did to me, said about me, has never left me. My compadre here assures me all of the time that I'm completely mad. Well, I'm not. I figure that if I can straighten out a few things that maybe I can get by all of the things you said about me that day, and doubtless other days, over that year's time so long ago." "I figure that if we can set things aright that maybe you won't think of me that way anymore?I mean really," I said. I began to feel tears welling up inside of me, but I fought them down. I wasn't sure, but I think Melissa picked up on it; it didn't matter. "Ben, what is this? Jerry, what are you doing here?" "I'm giving you two another chance. I'm the big-assed matchmaker here today I guess. You both love each other. You have since high school, maybe even before that. It's that simple," I said. "It would have been most difficult to tell who betwixt my two table guests was the more stunned?Rex didn't count in the equation. He was here to be my witness, and to give me moral support?which I viscerally needed at that moment. I was reminded of the famous lines from a Tale of Two Cities, "It is a far, far better thing than I have ever done." "Ben?" "Mel, don't blow this. It's right, and we both know it." "Mr. Holden," said Jerry, finally finding his voice," I can't?I mean I'm on parole?I can't?" I nodded, "Rex, you got 'em?" Rex pulled an envelope from his pocket. He handed it to Jerry. Jerry took it tentatively. The last time he'd gotten a paper it had been the official notification of his conviction. He read it. "How?when?" "The law firm I work for has some very influential friends; trust me it's real," I said. "You're a free man; your parole is at an end." Tears were forming at the corners of his eyes; that surprised me. "I have only one request," I said. I was addressing Melissa. I would most appreciate it if you didn't laugh at me anymore. I won't know if you do of course, but i hope you won't." Jerry had let his hand creep across the table and cover Melissa's. She eyed him, and then smiled her feelings to him. She looked at me. "Ben, to say I don't know what to say?well, I don't know what to say," she said. "Wait, yes I do. Ben, the idea of laughing at you will never cross my mind or his either?will it Jerry." Hers was not a question. "Not even," he said sincerely. "I have taken the liberty of booking you a room here. Use it in good health," I said. We talked for some more minutes, we ate; and then Rex and I parted for the crossroads, our favorite watering hole. I hadn't quite told them the truth when I had indicated that I wouldn't know if they laughed at me or not. Rex had seeded the room with some very sophisticated sound equipment; he'd be letting me know very soon if I had been a fool or not. Rex was out of town for a week, so I hadn't heard anything from him during that time. He was seated across from me now with a recorder ready to play it. I stopped him. "Just tell me," I said. "I don't want to hear it." "Yes, you do. So listen up," he said. "He sure surprised me," said Jerry. "Me too. I don't know how we could have been that way toward him. He's a better person than either of us."... I have several hours of this stuff. They're cool and they both love you. Now, you can get a life," laughed Rex. Two days later. I was faunching at the bit and little nervous. Finally, I punched the intercom. "Sonia, would you come in for a minute please." I looked at my thirty-eight year old special assistant. She was dressed as always, smart, fresh, and a trifle sexily. "So, Sonia, what are you doing for lunch?" She looked at me funny. "Mr. Holden? Are you asking me for a date?" I smiled the smile of a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "Can't fool you, Ms. Keating. If I'm off base?" "No, no, I would love to have lunch with you, Mr. Holden, but be warned, I am very high maintenance," she said. "Sounds good to me," I said. Sonia and I became an item from that day a year ago. Since a week past she had been wearing the ring I had given her. We were walking out to go to lunch when Rex strode up to us. He was smiling like a possum. "Okay, gumshoe," I said, "what's the big 'ole smile about? You inherit money or somethin'?" I laughed. He handed me a sheet of paper. I read it. "This for real," I said. "Yep. They've named it after you. Figured you'd like to know." 3047 1.31/512345