It Was Just Sex, Honey Ch. 03

Gentle reader: I urge you to read or review chapters one and two. This chapter will be easier to understand if you do. Small portions of the previous chapter will be included in this one. Three years have passed since Paul walked out on his marriage of three years to Gail. Fate has not been kind but he is starting to put his life back together. I pick up the story with Paul and his boss talking ?. ?Well, are we ready for ?em tonight, Paul?? ?I believe we are, Mr. Miller. I can?t think of a thing we?ve missed.? ?Great! See you at six, sharp.? That was Jim Miller, my boss. I?ve worked for him for almost two years. As bosses go, he was one of the best. His company sold meat to restaurants. I wasnumber two on his totem pole of salesmen. If everything went as planned, I would soon be number one. We were going to wine and dine the owner of a very large chain of restaurants. A successful feast tonight would result in a contract worth several million dollars over the next five years. Everything had been done to insure success. I had made arrangements for our client and his four district managers to have dinner with us at the most extravagant restaurant in the city. I had reserved a large private booth that had an excellent view of the live entertainment. Our waiter only had one table to take care of, ours. It was a little after nine when fateful event number one happened. A place on the table was cleared, the contract spread out before us, and signatures were carefully written at the bottom. Toasts were made and we helped our five guests into a waiting limousine. They had a five o?clock flight the next morning, which meant they had to be at the airport by three thirty. Jim was in a celebratory mood and insisted we go back in and patronize the bar. I had just finished my first non-alcoholic drink when fateful event number two struck. SHE walked in! No! It couldn?t be, but it was. It was HER! I hadn?t seen GAIL for three years. What was SHE doing here? ?Good God, Paul! You?ve turned white as a sheet! Are you alright?? ?I ? I ? I?ve got to leave.? It?s a damn good thing I was sitting on a stool and had the bar to lean on. I would have gone straight to the floor if I had been standing. Gail, beautiful Gail with long blonde hair and sky-blue eyes. The long flowing dinner-dress was well filled out up front with a slight flair at the hips. Damn! As glamorous as that dress was, she made it look better. Thankfully, she was with a group of people, all fashionably dressed. I had to get out of there, now! I tried to stand and walk to the door before she saw me. I don?t think I would have made it if Jim hadn?t helped me. Insisting that I looked too sick to drive, Jim put me in his car and drove me home. Jim, being the caring boss he is, helped me into my apartment. I managed to convince him that I would be okay and persuaded him to leave. I wanted to hide. I wanted to crawl into a hole and pull it closed behind me. How was I going to deal with this? I couldn?t face her. It would be too painful. Lying on my bed, curled up in a ball, the memories came flooding back. Memories I had tried to forget. I hadn?t seen Gail since I walked out on her. Beautiful, caring, loving, Gail. Every man?s dream. The perfect woman. The perfect wife. The perfect lover. I had destroyed it. Yes, me. It was my fault and my fault alone. I was the reason my marriage had failed. I knew that now. Back then? Well, I was a different man then. I had been an arrogant, self-centered, egotistical, over-bearing, womanizing jerk. I wasn?t like that now. I wasn?t sure just what I was but I wasn?t the same man now as I had been then. She gave me a wake-up call. She gave me every chance to change. She offered me whatever kind of life I wanted but I threw it all away. I made the biggest mistake in my life and walked out. Away from her. Away from the best thing that had ever happened to me. Oh, damn! I was just getting my life together. I thought I was over her but I was wrong. I was in love with her. That?s something I had never told her. I had never said, ?I love you.? I had never told her how much I cared. The man I had been back then couldn?t have said that. As for the man I am now, well, I?m not sure what I would say. Three years ago, Saturday, nine thirty in the morning, I left with two suitcases and an attitude. The following Thursday night, I had the living shit beat out of me by four extremely jealous husbands. I had been screwing the wives of two of our satellite store managers and the wives of two other store employees. Four stores, four cities, four wives and four days in the hospital. It took me over four weeks to recover. The last thing I remember one of the men saying before I passed out was, ?Leave the country. If we ever see you again, we?ll kill you.? My boss visited me the second day of my hospital stay. He handed me my termination papers and my final paycheck. I was discharged from the hospital about ten in the morning of my forth day and by two in the afternoon, I was on a bus headed for parts unknown. Several bus changes and a thousand miles later, I was in a large city and my money was almost gone. I managed to find a cheap, filthy room to rent on a weekly basis and started living in a bottle. It was there, at the bottom of a bottle, that I realized what a fool I was. I envy those who know when they are in love. It was different for me. I had never experienced love. There had never been love when I was growing up and love had never been necessary with the numerous girlfriends I had experienced during and after college. Then, drunk, crying my eyes out, sitting on a curb in front of some no name bar, I realized I was in love with my wife. I had walked out on the best thing that had ever happened to me. The suitcases and my clothes went to a second-hand store for more booze. I was kicked out of my room and started living in the alleys of skid row. It was there, in the alleys of skid row that I met Bear. I had no idea what his real name was. He was big, black as the ace of spades, about six foot four and probably weighted around two seventy-five. There wasn?t an ounce of fat on him. Bear owned the roughest bar in the city. It was also a place where, if you were really hungry, you could choke down a hamburger. There was always a poker game or two going on in the back room and there were some rooms upstairs where the street girls could take their clients, for a price, of course. Bear, never one to pass up an opportunity, put me to work. I swept floors, washed dishes, took out the trash, kept the bar stocked from the storage room, mopped vomit and blood from the floors, and did every other menial task he could think of. As a token of his generosity, he gave me a cot in one of the storage rooms to sleep on and a place where I could drown my sorrows in cheap booze. I spent almost a year with Bear. He came in late one night after closing, actually it was early in the A.M. and caught me crying in my booze. I had managed to keep a large envelope of personal stuff. In it were some of my wedding pictures, my wedding ring and my copy of the divorce papers. I hadn?t looked at any of it since I walked away that Saturday morning. That?s when I found out how much Gail had really loved me. Paperclipped to the back of the divorce papers was a checkbook, with my name printed in the header. It was the old joint account Gail and I had shared when we were married. Bear sat down on the end of my cot and asked me just what in the hell was so bad that I had to cry about it almost every night. It all came pouring out. My college days. The easy girls. Meeting Gail. And finally, how I had done everything possible to fuck over a good woman and fuck up a good marriage. He woke me early the next morning. He handed me a large paper bag and told me to go upstairs to one of the rooms and clean myself up. I was surprised at what was in the bag. Razor, tooth brush, comb, soap, toothpaste, and deodorant. New socks, shoes, blue jeans, and three white T-shirts. Embroidered on the pocket of each shirt was the name, ?Bear?s Bar.? I came down looking and smelling a lot better. He told me he was promoting me to bartender and his bartenders weren?t allowed to drink, either on or off duty. A trip to the bank later that morning reveled I indeed had a checking account, with a balance of ten thousand dollars. I had no idea why Gail left that money for me. Maybe it was her way of saying goodbye. I told Bear and he said to save it until I was ready and then use it to start a new life. I learned a lot about life my last three months with him. Bear had a complaint about a shipment of hamburger. He was so persistent that Mr. Miller himself came down to investigate. To make a long story short, I was working for Jim Miller two weeks later. Falling completely out of character, Bear shook my hand and wished me well. I still stop by a couple of times a month to visit with Bear. I drink Coke and he drinks Pepsi. I still didn?t know what his real name was. I used the money in the checking account to lease a nice one-bedroom apartment in one of the better apartment complexes close to where I would be working. A trip to one of the cheaper men?s stores resulted in the purchase of three new suits. I managed to find an eight-year-old car that was still in decent shape. After my first year with Mr. Miller, I found myself with two weeks of vacation. I used it to go home to visit my father. He was drunk and cussing women, just like I remembered him. I think he was the beginning of my problems. Dad hated women. Oh, he liked to fuck them but he couldn?t stand them the rest of the time. I spent one night there and then started trying to find my mother. Mom left the night of my twelfth birthday. I had asked her to do something and she had said no. I complained to dad as soon as he got home. He informed her that I was becoming a man now and she was to do as I said. I went to sleep that night with them still arguing in the kitchen. The first thing dad said to me the next morning was, ?She?s gone and good riddance.? There was a parade of women after that. Some would spend the night. A few stayed for a week or so and one actually put up with us for two months. As dad said, ?All women are bitches. All they?re fit for is a good fuck. Never, ever, let one tell you what to do, son. Keep ?em in their place, or they?ll try to run your life for you.? He raised me to think and act just like him. I guess I shouldn?t have listened. Driving away from the house, I didn?t feel one bit sorry for him. It took several days to find mom. She had remarried. I spent a week with her. Her husband was easy-going and seemed like a real nice guy. Mom and I had several long talks. I told her about my life, from the time she left until I started working for Mr. Miller. She was sympathetic but didn?t make any excuses for me. It was then that I discovered dad had threatened to kill her if she didn?t leave. Looking back, I wish she could have taken me with her. I might have turned out better. I still call her every other week and we have some good conversations. Thinking about the last three years of my life had totally depressed me. I managed to get to sleep about five and woke up about nine. I still felt miserable. A half an hour in the bathroom made me look better but I was still feeling rotten inside. I called a cab and went to retrieve my car. I couldn?t help but notice the large sign in front of a hotel across the street from the restaurant as we pulled into the parking lot. ?Welcome! American Writers Association Awards Banquet at 7:00 P.M.? Well, now I knew what Gail was doing here. Her third romance novel sold more copies than her first two combined. Then, after two years, her forth book hit the racks. It was on the top ten best sellers? list for several months. It was number one on the romance list for twelve weeks in a row, and number one on the thriller list for eight weeks in a row. That wasn?t bad. Nope, not bad at all. It was too little, too late, but I read all of her books a few months ago. The first three were good, but the last one; well, it was art. I had no idea that words on paper could generate such feelings and emotion. She wrote as if she had lived the life of some of her characters. The critics couldn?t make up their mind what category to put it in. Some said it was adult romance. Others said it was an adult romantic thriller. They all said that it was one of the best to come along in several years. I wanted to go in and congratulate her, wish her well, tell her I loved her, ask her to forgive me, ask her to ?. I had to leave. No way could I face my ex-wife. She was doing great and wouldn?t want to be reminded of me in her hour of glory. She deserved her success. She had earned it, in spite of me and my ?. Damn! I wanted to start crying again. I found my car and headed for home. The ride was a blur. I remember parking the car but I don?t remember climbing the stairs, unlocking the door or sitting down out on the balcony. My apartment was on the top floor. I didn?t mind having to climb stairs because I liked sitting up here and looking off across the city. I somehow found a measure of peace here. I could think and not be disturbed. A knock on the door broke my repose. I glanced at my watch and it was a quarter till noon. That would be Mr. Miller. It would be just like him to stop by to be sure that I was okay. I opened the door and ? Oh, Shit! ?Gail!? ?Hello, Paul.? ?Gail! I ? I don?t know what to say.? ?How about, come in?? ?Yes! Yes, of course ? come in ? please.? She walked right past me, tossed her handbag on the couch and started checking the place out. Damn! Sandals, blue jeans, white cotton blouse and hair in a ponytail. Damn! That?s the way she always dressed around the house or to go shopping. ?I could use something to drink, Paul.? ?I?ve got Coke, Dr. Pepper, Sprite, milk, orange juice and water.? ?A small glass of wine would be nice.? ?I ? uh ? I don?t drink anymore, Gail.? ?Oh, sorry. Coke will be fine.? I handed her a Coke from the fridge and watched her walk out and sit down in one of the chairs on the balcony. She seemed so confident, so sure of herself. That wasn?t the way I was feeling at all. My confidence level was somewhere on the negative side of zero. What in the world was she doing here? What could she possible want from me? Considering the way I had treated her during our three years of marriage, I would be the last person on earth she would want to see. I finally gathered up all of my courage, what little of it there was and went out and sat down in the chair beside her. ?You?re looking well, Paul.? She said optimistically. ?Thank you. You look pretty good yourself.? Was my careful reply. ?So, how have you been?? I guess that was a fair question. Does she really want to know or is she setting me up for something unpleasant? ?I?m doing alright. I?ve got a good job with a company that sells meat to restaurants. Other than that, I?m just living day to day.? ?I?m sorry you left, Paul. I?ve missed you.? Damn! That was direct and to the point. How in the hell do I answer that? Why was she here? Has she come by to gloat? Is she here to flaunt her success in my face? Okay, maybe it was time for honesty. That was a joke. I had never been honest with her a single day since we met. If ever there was a time, it was now. ?Leaving you was the stupidest thing I have ever done, Gail. I?ve missed you, too. I don?t know what else to say, other than, I?m sorry. I know it probably doesn?t mean anything to you, but, I am.? ?Actually, Paul, it does mean something to me. I?m sorry I pushed you like I did. I shouldn?t have rubbed it in your face so blatantly.? ?Well, I did kind of deserve it. I mean, well, it wasn?t like I wasn?t treating you like dirt. I was a real jerk, considering my actions.? ?Thank you, Paul. I never thought I would hear you say something like that.? ?So, Gail, why are you here? I cautiously asked. She thought for a minute, as if trying to make up her mind about something. ?Well, I?m going to receive a small award of some kind this evening. I was hoping you would be my escort. That is, if you don?t already have a date or plans for something else.? ?I haven?t had a date, or been with a woman, since I left you, Gail.? I replied matter-of-factly. ?Oh, I didn?t know. Why not, for goodness sake?? ?Let?s just say that I haven?t, and let it go at that.? ?I?m sorry, Paul, I don?t mean to pry.? ?That?s okay, I guess I shouldn?t be so defensive. Yes, I would be honored to be your escort this evening.? ?Thank you, Paul. Please pick me up at room ten twenty four, at six. There is a pre-banquet social hour that I must attend.? Her business completed, she kissed me on the cheek and left. Well, that was short and sweet. She was just as I remembered her, calm, cool and collected. I have seen her lose her cool and raise her voice only one time since I have known her. That was three years ago when she told me to get out. I still wasn?t sure what she really wanted. Was she just checking up on me or did she have something else in mind? I had several business suits but only one good suit I thought would be appropriate for tonight. On a whim, I had taken a bonus check and visited an upscale men?s shop a few months ago. I didn?t have a use for it at the time; I just wanted it in case something special came along. Perhaps this was the ?something special? I had purchased it for. Six sharp found me gently knocking on the door of room ten twenty-four. I heard the click of a lock and the door opened. I was awe-struck. She was elegance personified. Her beauty was beyond words. The gown didn?t reveal a thing. Yet, you knew that the complete package was underneath. I was so smooth. Yep, that?s me. The smoothest guy in town. I proved it by saying, ?It?s ? uh ? it?s six o?clock.? She grinned at me, grabbed a small purse and we headed for the banquet room. The room was large. The crowd was even larger. There were publishers, editors, agents, reporters, critics, and authors in abundance. Introductions were numerous, to say the least. Everyone in the whole damn room was so at ease, smiling, having a good time. All but me. In every case, when an introduction was made, I was introduced as her husband. ?Pleased ta mee-cha? and a short handshake was all I could manage. Why was she saying that? We divorced three years ago. I had the papers to prove it. She was smiling and making polite conversation. I was in a complete state of confusion. Banquets like these develop a life and timetable of their own. It was almost seven thirty when we sat down to eat. I?m sure that someone had planed for the meal to last an hour. It was a little after nine when the awards ceremony started. Categories and awards were numerous. I was still lost in my own thoughts and almost missed hearing the Master of Ceremonies say something about the author of the year, followed by her name. We were sitting on the dais, right next to the podium. Gail stood, accepted the award and began to speak. ?I wish to most graciously thank my publisher, my editor and most of all, those that were kind enough to buy and read my books. However, there is one who deserves a special thanks. The one who has been my inspiration through it all. My husband, Paul. He deserves at least half of the credit for my works.? She sat down to a nice round of applause. The Master of Ceremonies, thinking he was making a small joke, said, ?Maybe we should hear from the inspiration.? It took but a flash of thought to recognize the opportunity and take advantage of it. I immediately stood, thanked him for a chance to speak and stepped to the podium in front of him. Talk about a man being confused, he didn?t know what to think. This wasn?t supposed to happen. This guy wasn?t supposed to speak. I could read it all in his eyes as he stepped back. ?Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for the honor you have bestowed on my wife. I used to make fun of her writing. She would try to tell me something about what she was doing and I would treat it as a joke. For several years, I made fun of my dumb blonde wife who thought she was a writer. Hell, I used to accuse her of being so dumb that she used whiteout on the computer screen to correct misspelled words. ?It was over five years before I took her writing seriously. Something, uh ? unusual had happened to me and I sat down and read her first two novels. They were funny, they told a story, and they were very erotic. It was at that point that I revised my opinion of her as a writer. Her third book told one hell of a story. It wasn?t quite as funny but it was definitely erotic. I began to see a depth to her writing, and her, that I had somehow missed. ?Her last book almost scared me. I could see me in one of her main characters. Her insight, not only into that character but several others was almost phenomenal. I still don?t know how she was able to do that. Maybe, someday, if I?m lucky, she will enlighten me.? I turned and looked into her eyes. I could see tears starting to form. I had one more thing to say. ?You didn?t know I could read, did you, dear?? I sat down, kissed her on the cheek and joined in the applause and laughter. The rest of the ceremony was kind of anticlimactic. I was starting to think ahead, wondering what her ultimate goal was. Why had she come to see me? Why did she want me here? Why did she introduce me as her husband? I glanced at Gail. She seemed to be deep in thought. I had no idea of what she was thinking about. We hung around and visited for a little while after the ceremony. Gail finally mentioned that it had been a long, tiring night and was ready to go back to her room. It was a silent ride on the elevator and we didn?t say a word while walking down the hall. She unlocked her door, turned and asked, ?Would you like to come in, Paul?? ?I don?t think so, Gail. I?m tired. I need to think and I need to get some sleep. When are you leaving?? ?I?m flexible. I?m notworking on anything now. Why?? ?I think I would like to see you again, perhaps tomorrow?? ?It just so happens that I don?t have a thing planned for all day tomorrow. Give me a call here at the hotel when you?re ready.? ?Goodnight, Gail.? ?Goodnight, Paul.? I was still somewhat confused about Gail?s sudden appearance back in my life. Considering how I had treated her during our marriage, I was surprised she even thought of me, much less actually coming to see me. There was a mystery. How did she find me? How did she even know what city I was living in, much less where my apartment was? I still had no idea of why she introduced me as her husband. I was about half way home when I decided to make a detour. Considering that it was a little after midnight, Bear?s Bar would just now be hitting full stride. A hail of whistles and catcalls greeted me when I entered. Well, that was to be expected. Everyone here knew me and they all considered me to be their friend. Bear was holding court in his usual place, on a stool at the far end of the bar. ?Hey, check you out, man! Them?s nice duds. What chu doin here dressed like that?? ?I need to talk with you for a little bit.? ?Okay, let?s go to my office.? He had a small office off to the side, behind the bar. The desk was very neat and orderly. The rest of the room was stacked with useless junk that people had pawned to him over the past several years. ?Okay, Paul, what?s yer problem?? ?What makes you think I have a problem?? ?Well, let?s see. It?s half past, yer dressed to impress and yer here talkin ta me. That all adds up ta a problem. Now, what is it?? ?She?s back, Bear, and I don?t know what to do about it.? ?Who?s back?? ?Gail is back. She came to see me this morning. She asked me to be her escort at an awards banquet this evening and I accepted.? ?Considerin how yer dressed, that?s obvious.? ?Damn it all to hell, Bear! When we got there, she introduced me to everyone as her husband. I don?t have a clue as to what she wants or what I should do.? ?Look, ya dumb fuck, she obviously wants ya back or she wouldn?t a looked ya up. As ta what ya should do, why are ya sittin here talkin ta me when ya should be in her room, makin up?? ?That may be but considering how I treated her, I?m not sure that I deserve her. Besides, she may just be doing this for revenge or something.? ?Well, let?s see. She invites ya ta be her escort. She introduces ya as her husband ta all her colleagues and peers. She chooses ya ta spend what is probably one a the most important nights a her life with. Yep, sounds kinda like revenge ta me.? ?Damn it! I don?t want to take a chance on hurting her any more than I already have.? ?Yah, sure. Ya don?t want ta take a chance a hurting yerself either, do ya?? ?Okay ? okay ? that might be true, too.? ?Go home, Paul. Go home an get some sleep. See her tomorrow and ask her what she wants. Now get out a here afore one a the gals drags ya upstairs an rapes ya.? I did what Bear said. I went home but I didn?t get much sleep. I called Gail at eight the next morning. ?Hello?? ?It?s Paul. I ? uh ? called to thank you for a nice time last night.? ?You?re welcome, Paul. I had a nice time, too.? ?Could we ? uh ? could we get together and ? uh ? maybe ? uh ? maybe talk?? ?I?ll be there in fifteen minutes.? Click. Damn! She just hung up and is now on her way here. Oh, shit! What am I going to say? How am I going to make her understand that I really do love her? How am I going to convince her it?s her and her alone that I want to be with? Less than fifteen minutes later, the door rattled. ?Knock! Knock! Knock!? Damn! She certainly got here quick enough. She must have broken the speed limit all of the way. ?Hello, Gail, thanks for coming over.? I greeted her, cautiously. ?Well, you called. I came. What do you want to talk about?? She asked breathlessly. She must have run up all four flights of stairs. I had thought about this, but now that she was here, I still didn?t know how to begin. It was just like yesterday morning. She was wearing sandals, blue jeans and a white cotton blouse. Her hair was piled up on top of her head last night but she had it back into a ponytail now. Just as yesterday morning, she tossed her handbag on the couch and went to the same chair on the balcony. ?I ? uh ? could I ask you some questions?? I asked shyly. ?Of course. Ask away.? She replied with confidence. I took the plunge. ?Why did you introduce me to everyone last night as your husband?? ?Because you are.? That was a simple statement. Was she playing some kind of a mind game? ?I don?t understand. We?re divorced.? ?I never went through with it, Paul.? I couldn?t believe it. If ever a woman had just cause to get rid of a man, she did. ?You mean ? you mean we?re still married?? ?Yes.? She stated, direct and to the point. Okay, the next question was so obvious I asked it without thinking. ?Why?? ?I kept hoping you would come back. I really do still love you.? So, there it was. After the way I had treated her. After the way I had cheated on her for our entire marriage. She was still in love with me. ?Option three.? I just blurted it out. I don?t know why. ?Excuse me?? That was a switch. She was confused. For the first time since I?ve known her, she?s confused. Calm, cool and collected Gail was confused. Under other circumstances, I would have laughed. Not now, not this time, I wanted her back. As much as it hurt, I was willing to do whatever I had to. If I had to open old wounds and remind her of a conversation I had tried for three years to forget, then so be it. ?Three years ago, you offered me four options. The first option was for us to join a swingers club and have an open marriage. The second option was for us to just keep sneaking around on each other. The third option was for us to forgive each other and live as a married couple should. You mentioned something about starting a family. The forth option was divorce. I did the stupidest thing in my life I have ever done. I walked out on you. So, if my options are still available, I choose option three.? She continued to look confused for a few seconds, then her eyes lit up with understanding. The next thing I knew, I had a lap full of girl and a mouth full of tongue! Oh! Boy! Wow! That felt nice. It lasted until we had to come up for air. We each took a deep breath and she locked her mouth to mine again. Something down below was on a rampage. Three years is a long time to be without a woman. Considering how she was moving her hips, she was on a rampage as well. I certainly hadn?t expected this. I had convinced myself that I had lost her but here she was, kissing the hell out of me, and making it plain that she wanted more. Suddenly, we were out of the chair and she was dragging me to the bedroom. Clothes were flying in every direction. She fell back onto the bed, taking me with her. She grabbed my dick, guided it into her and let out a long sigh. ?Oh, Paul, I?ve waited three years for this.? She moaned. In less than a minute, she was screaming in orgasm. In less than two minutes, so was I. It didn?t stop there. I had only begun. For the first time, since I had met her, I actually made love to her. For the first time, since I had met her, I told her how much I loved her. I teased, I taunted and I titillated her. I caressed, I licked, I massaged and I explored her body. I took my time. I made her the center of her universe. I made love to her body and I whispered endearments, making love to her mind. I had her moaning with anticipation and screaming in release. Time had ceased to exist. We were in a place where only lovers can go. There was just the two of us, united as one. Each of us giving and in turn receiving. Exhaustion finally stopped us. We lay together, entwined; each of us lost in the dreamland of love and joy. Fulfilled. Sated. ?Paul, honey, we have to talk. There are some things I have to tell you about.? We managed to find our clothes, get something to drink and sat down at the small kitchen table. ?Gail, I have no hard feelings about what you did to me. Considering the way I was behaving and what I was doing to you, well, you were fully justified in what you did. You were entitled to a little revenge.? ?That?s just it, Paul, it wasn?t revenge. I really did feel as if I had missed out on something in life. I really did want to know what it would be like with different partners. You were seeing several different women on a regular basis so I thought it would be okay for me to see a few different men. I?ll admit, I did use it to get your attention. I actually thought you would chose option one. Maybe, option two at worst. I had no idea you would walk out. I wouldn't have done it if I had known you would leave. I?m very sorry. Forgive me?? ?There?s nothing to forgive. It?s me that should be asking for forgiveness, for being such a jerk. I treated you like dirt and I?m very sorry. I would like to do as you said, you know, forgive all past transgressions and move on. Maybe even start a family? ?We can only do that after I tell you what I?ve done since you?ve been gone.? ?There?s no need for that. I?ve done some pretty stupid things the past three years myself.? ?Yes, we have to do this. If we are going to build a life together, then there can be no surprises somewhere down the road. We have to get everything out in the open, now.? ?Okay, who goes first?? ?I will, I already know about you.? ?Oh, how?s that?? ?Ask me later, please?? ?Alright. By the way, how did you find me?? ?Uh ? could that wait till later, too?? ?Very well, proceed.? ?Well, to begin with, I?ve continued to be a part of the swing club. No, not every night, but I would have a date with one of them once in a while. They?re nice people and I enjoy being with them. Their parties are a lot of fun. I?m still the only member that goes there without a partner.? ?That?s alright, Gail. I don?t blame you. You deserved a little happiness in your life. I do understand.? ?Thank you, Paul. Now then, the hard part begins. I started my forth book right after you left. I spent over a month on just the outline. I then wrote for three months. I tried very hard but I couldn?t get the emotions of the characters right. I finally decided that the only way I could do it was to experience what some of my characters did. I made a list and started with the easiest first. ?I worked three weeks as a maid for a very rich couple. I then worked as a waitress in a small café for a couple of weeks. My next experience was as a cocktail waitress, in a very skimpy outfit, at one of the better nightclubs. I then tried being a bartender for a week. I wasn?t very good at that.? ?I was a bartender for a while. I wasn?t very good at it either.? ?I know. Anyhow, my next job was as an erotic dancer at one of the strip clubs. I even gave lap-dances to some of the patrons.? ?Wow! Do I get one?? ?Please, Paul, don?t make fun of me.? ?I?m not making fun of you. I?ll bet you can give one hell of a lap-dance. I really would like to enjoy that experience sometime.? ?If you still want me after this is over, I?ll give you a dance you?ll never forget. It gets worse from here on, Paul. Do you want me to continue?? ?If it will make you feel better, please, do so.? ?Two of my characters were lesbians. So I ?.? ?You didn?t!? ?Yes, I did. A few of the women at the swing club are bisexual. I told them about the characters in my book. Two of them invited me to join them in the bedroom and I did.? ?I don?t know what to say, Gail. Did you enjoy it?? ?Once I got past my prejudices and inhibitions, I enjoyed it very much. Making love with another woman was different, yet very satisfying. I was lucky. I had two very good teachers.? ?Is that something you want to continue?? ?That depends, Paul. If I still have you after this is over, then its something I don?t care to ever do again.? ?Okay, please continue.? ?One of the couples occasionally play master and slave. I persuaded them to let me join them. I was their slave for a week. It was new. It was fun. It was enlightening. I enjoyed the experience. However, it?s not a lifestyle I care to pursue.? ?Is there anything you haven?t done? Damn, Gail! If someone else were telling me that you've done all of those things, I would have called them a liar. I?m not sure what to think, now.? ?It gets worse, Paul. I arranged to be raped. The main female character in my novel was raped. I was having trouble writing about how it effected her emotionally. You remember my doctor at the clinic don?t you? He?s a member of the swing club, too. ?Anyhow, I told him what I needed and he agreed to set it up with two of the club members. They were supposed to surprise me on a Saturday night. They showed up Friday night instead. They actually shattered my back door and forced me to do all kinds of things. They wore ski masks so I wouldn?t know who they were. They were a lot rougher with me than I had anticipated. I actually fought back at one point and they slapped the hell out of me. They used and abused me until almost daylight. ?I called the doctor as soon as they left. He had me come to the clinic immediately. It wasn?t the two members of our club. I actually had been raped. He tested me for STDs twice a week for several weeks after that. I couldn?t call the police. It would have been too embarrassing. One of the club members is a psychiatrist and I went through several months of counseling with him.? ?Damn, Gail, I?m sorry. That must have been horrible for you.? ?Yes, it was but I?m over it now. I finally wrote my book. I sent it to my publisher and he didn?t change one word of it. You see, after my book was in print and on the best seller?s list, my psychiatrist wanted to have one last session with me. When I arrived, I was greeted by my doctor and the two club members that raped me. They apologized, profusely. They wanted to make the experience as real as possible to me. They were very successful, almost too successful. I wanted to shoot all of them. I ended up hugging and thanking each of them. ?That, Paul, concludes my confession. Do I still have you? Or, have I lost you again?? At this point, I didn?t know what to think. To say that I was surprised would be a gross understatement. I now had to do something I seldom had done in my life. I had to think things through, very carefully. She had done things I would have never allowed if we had been together. That was just it, we weren?t together. I had been a grade ?A? number one asshole and walked out on her. She, in turn, had written a superb novel and won an award for it. Hell, one of the characters even resembled me. Well, the old me. I wasn?t that way now. Did she know that? ?You haven?t answered my question yet.? ?What question?? ?How did you find me?? ?Oh. Well, I received a very nice, very long letter. It was from a man who claimed to know you. His writing was very eloquent. He told me all about you. Your drinking. Where you had been living and where you were living now. He said you were in love with me. He said you were afraid to come home, that you were too ashamed. That?s why I ask for wine. I wanted to see for myself if you had quit drinking. Anyhow, his letter convinced me to see you. He must have known about the awards ceremony and that I would be attending it. His letter arrived two weeks ago. So, here I am.? ?Who wrote the letter?? ?Some nice man by the name of Marian Feathers.? ?Marian Feathers? Who in the hell is that?? ?I don?t know. He claims you worked for him as a bartender for a while.? ?Bear! It has to be Bear! So that?s why no one knows what his real name is. Just wait until the next time I see him!? ?Paul? Is there something I should know about this man?? ?Yes. And it?s a good thing. I?ll introduce you to him later.? ?You had me worried for a second.? ?Tell me something, Gail. What lengths will you go to, to write your next novel?? ?Whatever they are, Paul, I promise to get your permission before I do it. If you don?t agree, then the book won?t get written.? We talked. We caught up on all the details of the past three years. We spent two hours in bed. We made love, like it should be between two people that love one another. We returned her rental car. She checked out of the hotel and we moved her luggage to my apartment. We made plans. We both felt there was no reason to return to our old home. We were going to be a couple. We were going to start a family. We were making a fresh start. She liked her friends there, but she didn?t want that lifestyle any more. A clean break from her friends would be best for both of us. We spent another hour in bed, catching up on all of the time we had lost. We would start house-hunting the first thing tomorrow morning. We talked until almost midnight. I insisted she put on the same dress she wore to the banquet. She piled her hair up on her head just like it had been last night. I got back into my best suit and we went for a ride. She was apprehensive driving through the area of town I went to. She didn?t want to get out of the car when I parked in front of a seedy-looking bar. I managed to get her through the door and she froze in place. Ninety percent of the clientele in here were black. Most of the men, as well as the women, looked dangerous. Her instincts were correct and her apprehension was at overload. Most of the people here were dangerous, in one way or another. In this place, blonde and blue would tend to get everyone?s attention. A stunningly beautiful blonde and blue dressed as she was would bring the place to a standstill. That?s exactly what happened. The place went deathly quiet. The big black dude sitting at the far end of the bar got off his stool and walked directly to her. He gently took her hand in his and said, ?Welcome to Bear?s, Miss Gail. It?s an honor and a privilege to meet you. Please let me escort you to your table.? Every place like this has one booth that is far more desirable than the rest. It was that booth Bear escorted her to. The current occupants immediately vacated it. The bartender, realizing a special guest had arrived, had the table cleaned and fresh coasters in place by the time we sat down. The hustle and bustle and noise level slowly returned to normal. Anyone greeted at the door by Bear would be treated with the utmost respect and left completely alone. She was actually safer in here than in any shopping mall in the country. Bear?s special bottle of scotch and three shot glasses were placed on the table and Bear poured. I started to shake my head no when Bear said, ?You will drink one toast with us, Paul.? He thought for a few seconds and then said, ?To a lady whose writing is exceeded only by her beauty.? The scotch burned all the way down. My customary Coke appeared. Bear got his Pepsi. A glass of white wine was placed in front of Gail. She was still recovering from the shock of this place. ?Gail, I would like you to meet Mr. Marian Feathers, a writer of eloquent letters.? ?Paul, if you ever use that name in here again, I can promise that your next hospital stay will far exceed four days. I have a reputation to maintain.? Gail giggled and the ice was broken. I sat and listened for hours. They talked about famous authors. They talked about famous composers. A beautiful black woman walked in and sat down with us. She placed Gail?s four novels on the table and Gail autographed each of them. So, I had finally met Bear?s wife. Closing time came and went. They continued to sit and talk. Bear, and his reputation, was slipping. He was now talking like the college graduate he was. He gave up his football scholarship during his junior year due to injuries but he managed to hang on and get a first class education. He graduated with honors. His father had owned this bar and Bear, liking the work and most of the people, continued to run it. I could see where her next novel was going to come from. Some of it would probably be written while she was sitting at this very booth. It would be about this place, about these people. It would be about things that never made the papers or the evening news at six. It would be her next best seller. I felt good. I had straightened my life out and Gail had made her mark on the literary world. It was time for a family now. Sometimes, the love and devotion of a woman can not be rationally explained. Life could only get better. The End. 5394 2.08/512345