Job Security Ch. 03

As you can well imagine, I was left in a mental turmoil after leaving the costume shop. Just how much did David know about what was happening to me? I spent countless hours trying to sort it out, prying little things out of him as I could without making an issue of it. Was he a willing part of a scheme involving me? Was he totally clueless of what was going on or, even if he and Mr. Lin had enjoyed an hour of fun fantasizing about me in a sexy costume, was he only an unknowing participant who's only involvement was to be married to a woman that had attracted somebody else's attention. On the surface, it appeared that only Danny and Marty were players. In order to keep some level of sanity and trust, I decided to keep it that way. Until I saw something different, I would assume that they were my problem and David was, at best, an unwitting provider for their entertainment. As far as David's job was concerned, his attitude had gone from grave concern over his situation to guarded optimism due to the possible impending deal concerning Danny and Mr. Lin. Not that all concern had disappeared, but at that point it appeared that the result would not only solidify most positions but might even offer new opportunities. Since Mr. Lin had expressed his appreciation of David's handling of his account and had personally asked that we all get together the next time he was in town, there was at least a temporary relief from the pressure. I think that, even though nobody was saying it out loud, it was obvious that Mr. Lin was smitten with me. I didn't quite know what to think about that but it was obvious David considered it to be a real ace in the hole. Then, there was our life at home. David returned home two days after the party. Just as Mr. Lin was departing, he had a short private meeting with Danny and David. Then, in a real surprise move, Mr. Lin asked David to take him to the airport. After that private conversation, he came straight home full of praise for the way I had "handled the situation." I blanched in his applause, as there was a lot more to it then I assumed he could imagine. Even through his euphoria at the time, I could still detect that he was real nervous about something but I didn't press for information. I was in the kitchen when he walked in the door and while he was gushing his appreciation he slipped his hand down the front of the sweat pants I was wearing and brought me off on the spot. He made mention of how wet I already was. There was no way for him to know that ever since the incident with Danny Saturday night I couldn't seem to keep my hands off myself. Even though the event had appalled and frightened me, it seemed that every time I looked at myself in a mirror my hands found my nipples and clit. I couldn't believe the amount of orgasms I was having while standing. Things took a turn about two weeks later. During that time, David was bringing me to orgasm two or three times a day. At first, I wasn't paying a lot of attention to the fact that he always used his mouth or hands to do it and wasn't going inside me, only that I was received a lot of attention from him. After the two weeks, though, I was starting to long for his cock inside me. On that Saturday night, I came out of the shower and entered the bedroom wrapped in a large towel with a smaller one wrapped around my head. David came in the room and, for some reason, walked around the room turning on every light and lamp. I was pleased when he kissed me and removed the big towel but he surprised me when he insisted I leave the smaller towel on my head, then very carefully positioned me on the bed close to our walk-in closets. Positioning himself on my left so that I was on the outside edge of the bed, he started kissing me above the eyes, moved to my mouth for a very long period, and then moved down me in an excruciatingly slow fashion. Just his prolonged attention to my nipples almost made me come. By the time he teased my naval and stomach, I had all I could stand and came almost instantly in a soft orgasm when he gently took my clit in his mouth. Expecting him to move up on me and make his entry, I couldn't decide whether I was pleased or disappointed when he instead moved on down my legs to my feet and then back up slowly, giving me time to totally recover from my orgasm. He settled in with his head between my legs, slowly teasing my swollen clit and gently exploring my sensitive furrow with his tongue. I was lost in all this, moaning and moving against his touch. I thought it strange but complied when he asked me to keep my hands above my head, then he began to speak. "Tell me about the costume you wore to the party." I was a bit amused at his request. It wasn't as if he didn't already know. "It was a witch's outfit." "No. Describe it in detail. I heard you were the big attention getter." "Oh? I didn't think it was anything special." My attempt to blow it off failed. He insisted on a very detailed account, so I gave it to him as factual as I could, leaving out anything I didn't want him to know. It didn't work. "I overheard some girls talking and they said you didn't wear anything under it." I paused before answering, wondering how much he really knew. Then I thought, what the hell! "I didn't. The dress fit too tight." "U-u-m-m-m." I felt him physically react to my answer. It seemed to please him. Attacking my clit for a minute, he spoke again. "Tell me about who you danced with." "A lot of the guys." "Did you slow dance with them?" I knew he was asking and already had the answer. "Yes." "Did they touch you?" "Of course. We were slow dancing." Where was this going? "No, you know what I mean." Ah, now I got it. He was fully aware of what went on. "Oh, every now and then somebody would get a little fresh." "What's 'a little fresh'?" Every time I answered him he reacted by moaning as he gave my clit a quick, hard suck before returning to teasing my slit. "Oh, a casual brushing of my breast with their fingertips when our hands were positioned in between us. A couple of them moved their hand down to my ass." Actually, most of them had done it, some to the point where I had to forcibly remove their hand. "U-u-m-m-m-m." That appreciative moan came out of him again. He was enjoying this. "Did you remove their hand?" In a flash decision, I decided to tell the truth, which I had a feeling he already knew but wanted to hear me verify. Besides, it was obvious he was getting off on this. I hesitated before I answered, drawing out the moment. "Depended on who it was." My quiet answer was met with a very audible and physical approval. "Did you dance with Mr. Lin? He really likes you and loved your costume." "No. I don't think he danced with anybody. They don't do that over there." He was satisfied with my answer and there was a long pause. Suddenly I knew what he was building to. I had to make a quick decision as to my level of truth as he seemed to already know so much and I didn't want to start telling easily detectable lies. "Did you dance with Danny?" Well, there it was. "Yes. Right at the end of the party." His mouth went straight to my clit and he started sucking it fast and hard. It wasn't wasted on me. I bucked against his mouth and rotated my ass fast and hard. His questioning may have been awkward, but it was exciting and I could feel myself climbing high and fast. I knew I wasn't going to last. "How much did you dance with him?" "A lot." I knew it wasn't true. We had only danced once and he probably already knew that. There was another long hesitation while his mouth was busy on me. "Did he touch you?" The question was very quiet and slow. Up to this point, I was dealing with a situation where I thought he was relatively sure of the answer before he asked. This was different. How much did he know? Was he just trying to verify what he suspected? Would he become angry or be pleased with the truth? Or was he just looking for an incredible turn-on. I made a flash decision that, for the moment, it was the latter. "Yes." I wasn't going to offer any unsolicited details. As soon as I let it out I knew there would be no turning back. His body reacted and he gorged himself on my clit, sucking and licking as hard as he could. It was more than I could take. I exploded in his mouth. The previous one had been slow and tame. This was not. Abandoning his request for me to keep my hands above my head, I grabbed the back of his head and shoved it hard into my crotch, loudly proclaiming my pleasure. Even if I had wanted him to stop or slow down, I knew he wouldn't. Over my own noises, I could hear him groaning as he roughly sucked my clit in and out like a machine. It was to his credit that he could even keep contact with his mouth as much as I was twisting and humping against him. Even though it seemed forever, I'm sure it was only a minute or two that this went on. I finally was so sensitive I had to push his head away. He got up on his knees and repositioned me on the bed for some time. The fact that he kept glancing at the open closet door didn't stay with me. I was just waiting for what I knew was to come; that hard cock I was looking at was going to be buried in me. I was disappointed. "N-o-o-o-o-o. I want you inside me," I protested. Instead of slipping his head into my begging pussy, he had instead taken up a familiar position that I knew he particularly loved. He wrapped my legs around his waist and lifted my ass slightly with his hands. This allowed him to slide his hard cock up and down my wet slit without entering me, creating the maximum contact between the underside of his shaft and my sensitive clit. Simultaneously, he would have me masturbate him. When I was doing it, the effect was as if I had a cock of my own sticking up and it always, without fail, caused us both to come. I really loved it as much as he did but I was disappointed that he wasn't going inside me for a regular fuck. It had been weeks! He started the wonderful, familiar strokes. I held my hands above my head and let him do it himself for a few minutes before I finally reached down and gently grasped him. Giving myself time to adjust to his girth and the length of stokes he appeared to want, we fell into a nice grove. He was pumping up and down gently, sliding the lower part of his cock up and down my slit and across my clit. I held his upper part softly in my hand, moving my hand slightly but not trying to go faster than the gait he had established for his own pleasure. Despite my disappointment, it was really nice and we could look each other directly in the eyes. After five minutes or so of this, he broke the silence. "Did you let Danny touch you?" My hesitation was answer enough. Otherwise, he knew I would have given him a resounding NO!! "What did he do?" He had slowed down to a very slow stroke and was looking at me with almost closed eyes. "He touched me a little." How much was I going to tell him? I was at that critical decision time. "Where?" "Different places." I felt his cock lurch as he emitted a small moan. It was obvious that if there were to be any anger, it would be later. Right then, it was only erotic. "Tell me everything. I want to know. Don't leave anything out." His breathing was so broken he could hardly speak. As for me, I was already back up from my last orgasm and looking for more. I was moving slightly under his body and was in a nice, slow grove with my stroking. I made the decision to tell him exactly what happened and then let him decide how much was the truth and how much was just fluff to appease him. I started to talk, telling him blow by blow what happened as soon as I got to the party. I left out specific names, but when I got to my dance with Danny, he questioned me a lot. "Where did you dance?" "He took me way in the back where it was dark." "Did he kiss you?" "A couple of times lightly on my mouth. Mostly, it was on my neck and ears." That moan again came out of him as I felt him thrust. All that transferred to me and I breathed heavy. "Did he feel your tits?" "Yes." "How much?" "A lot." "Through your dress?" "At first." "What do you mean?" His rhythm was starting to increase. "He felt me up through my top. Then he slipped his hand in under it." "Did he play with your nipples?" His hands had slowly slid up my stomach and his fingers found my nipples, rolling them gently between his fingers. "Yes." I had trouble even getting out the simple answer. His fingers were unnerving. He seemed to be enjoying all this and soaking it in. "Well?" "Well, what?" "You know what." " He played with my nipples for a long time and massaged my breast while we danced very closely." "Then?" As high as we both were, I knew it was going to come out. "He put his leg between mine while we danced." "Did you like that?" "It was okay. Some of the other men had tried to do it but I wouldn't let them." Actually, I had allowed a couple of them to do it a little. "So, it was just okay when you were with Danny." "Well, it felt pretty good." "What's pretty good?" He always hesitated before asking these questions. I wasn't sure if it was to think about what he was going to ask next or just giving him time to enjoy the previous answer. "I humped his leg a little." "How did he react to that?" "He slipped his hand down my dress and put it between my legs." That actually never happened, but I knew that's what he wanted to hear. "Did he make you come?" "Yes." It was a lie but it was the final thing he evidently wanted to hear. Without warning, I felt him lurch, his cock jerked in my hand, and he came all over me. It spurted in volumes across my stomach and breast and under my chin. I continued to pump him dry until he placed his hand on mine to show that he was through. He waited for a few seconds then lay down on top of me, spreading his sperm everywhere. "Then what?" he asked after a spell. "We stopped dancing." "That's it? You never came again that night?" "I brought myself off in the taxi on the way home." It was almost true. Even though I was extremely upset when I left the party, I was still tingling between my legs and had pulled my coat over my lap and rubbed myself slowly for about fifteen minutes on the way home. He just moaned again quietly, kissed me and pulled me against him as we went to sleep. He wouldn't even let me clean the come off us, leaving it to dry on us until the following morning. I woke the following morning expecting a huge backlash to all of this. I felt reasonably sure that there was a gray area in his mind as to what was truth or fiction, but surely he would question some of it. Instead, except to walk up behind me in the kitchen, hold me very tight and tell me what a great night it had been, there was no reference to my admissions. With that out of the way, I felt relief to the point that I started becoming a little wet when I started thinking about our little fantasy night. He must have felt the same. All day he would make little passes at me, kissing and touching me almost to the point of making me come. It became a torturous tease that I was really enjoying. As for him, I think he had a permanent hard on. I would rub it lightly ever now and then, slipping it once out of his pants and taking the head in my mouth for a few minutes. That night when it was our regular time for bed he went to our room about ten minutes before me, which was a bit unusual. When he came out, he leaned over me and started a real deep kissing session, moving his hands over my breasts then under my jeans. After a few minutes of slowly tantalizing my clit until it was swollen he whispered in my ear. "When you go to the room strip slowly for me, then lay down on the pillows I put out and bring yourself off." I leaned back from him, laughed and said "What?" "Come on, do it for me. I want to watch through the window." Then he walked out. I sat there for a minute in disbelief and then thought why not. We had been teasing each other all day and, after last night, this was tame and no danger. I went on in and saw that he had positioned a couple of large pillows on the bed that, when I laid down on the bed, would leave me facing our large sliding glass door. He had turned on every light in the room like he did last night and had opened the curtains on the door just a little. Assuming he wanted to see me being natural and not trying to do a strip tease, I casually but slowly removed my clothes, sometimes facing a mirror in our room and sometimes facing the door where I knew he was. Looking in the mirror, I spent some time massaging my breasts and nipples, and then slowly slid my hand down my stomach and to my crotch. I teased my clit for a few minutes then laid on the bed where he wanted me. Even though this exhibition was new to me, I found it to be exciting and didn't hesitate to do my part. After ten minutes of my fingers, my clit overrode any other distractions and I came hard. Knowing he was just feet away, I made no attempt to stifle my sounds during the whole process and moaned loudly as I came, thrashing my body as I would have done if I were home alone. I continued to spread my legs for him and rub myself until I slowed down to a stop. Ten minutes later he walked in the room, undressed, repositioned me on the pillow and went down on me very slowly and softly. He never spoke, but I could tell he was encouraged when I would become vocal so I just let it go. I came twice over the next hour under his touch and his tongue. Later, as I was coming out of the bathroom to get in bed, I heard him coming from out of the garage. When I asked, he said he was just making sure everything was locked up. The events of that night turned out not to be isolated, but rather the norm. He still was withholding his cock from me, but instead would tease me to an explosive level then ask me to do things for him. At least twice a week he would have me put on a show. Never telling me what to do he would instead set the stage, providing me the place he wanted me to masturbate and what to wear. It would range from wearing and discarding a short skirt to unzipping and sliding off my jeans. In addition to every negligee I owned, he seemed to somehow come up with all kinds of kinky but sexy notions. He always had me do it at certain places, either in the bedroom or a certain chair in the living room. When I did it in the chair he always provided me with a little fancy black blindfold. I protested a little about that but he said he wanted to watch me without me watching him. I assumed he was involved with a mutual masturbation with me and was coming when I did. If so, he never spoke and would not answer me if I spoke to him. During this time we went through Thanksgiving and was rapidly approaching Christmas. With the holidays approaching and things apparently a little better at work I let my mind relax. Even though I was enjoying my holidays, it still bothered me that David was still not fucking me. He would bring me off all the time with his fingers and mouth but when I begged for him he would say, "Later." Of course, our little games were dominant in our sex life and hardly a day went by that I didn't arouse myself just thinking about it. Rubbing myself in the car was commonplace and a few times I actually came. Once, while shopping in the mall, I went in a store dressing room for the sole purpose of relieving myself. The looks I got from other men became magnified in my mind as David and I played more and more games. Shopping was more looking than buying as we had little money to spare. After we had done everything on Christmas Eve and was pretty well settled in for the night, David said, "I have a early gift for you. Go try it on and show me." He handed me a nicely wrapped box. I went to our bedroom, opened it, and carefully removed the contents. Inside was a red and white Santa type hat. When I took it out and opened the tissue under it my eyes opened wide. It was a black and gold negligee, three pieces, very sheer, very oriental, and very, very expensive. It was just beautiful but how in the world could we afford it. I felt bad about putting it on without bathing, but that was obviously what David wanted. When I walked back into the living room he whistled real low. He had me turn around slowly, then untie the little belt and pull the thin robe aside revealing the transparent little top and tiny postage stamp panties that went with it. I admit to feeling a little silly with the hat on, but it seemed to turn him on at the moment. After about thirty minutes of touching and feeling on the couch, he told me he wanted me to open one more gift. "No, let's wait until tomorrow." "This one won't wait until tomorrow." Good grief! Had he bought me a pet? Instead, he handed me a small gift. When I open the wrapping, there was a fancy but unmarked box. I opened the top, gasped, and then laughed. "You really didn't have to!" I didn't know what else to say. "I thought you might enjoy it." I was looking at a very large, very fancy vibrator. I had used one before, but this was totally different. Unlike the plain plastic shafts I had used this was in a word, exotic. I was amazed at the lifelike texture of the material, the detail given to veins, even the foreskin. In addition to the amazingly detailed penis it had an extension with two little flexible tips, obviously meant to stimulate the clitoris. There was also what appeared to be a circle of small white beads down at the end that was meant to stimulate the labia when it was fully inserted. The label on the box said "Handmade in Malaysia" and I knew it had to be expensive. There was a little controller on it that obviously held the batteries. "I can't believe you bought this. How much did it cost?" "Turn it on!" He smiled. "This has got to be a joke, right?" When I turned on the buttons, there was a flurry of activity. Not only did both the cock and the clit stimulator vibrate, but a separate control allowed the cock to move round and round and the little ring of beads moved about to provide further stimulation. I couldn't help but laugh, but I knew that he was aware of my interest. Taking my hand, he led me over to the Christmas tree and had me lie down in front of it on some pillows he had arranged there while I was out of the room. He arranged me on the floor as if he were getting ready to photograph me, and then took up a position in a chair nearby. "Try it out." "No, I don't want to." "Aw, come on. Give it a try." The look on his face told me there wasn't going to be any option. I hesitated, slowly slipped my little panties off, reluctantly turned it on, and looked at it a few seconds as I listened to the whirl. Barely touching the head of it to my pussy, I closed my eyes. It was embarrassing to have David watch me, especially since I didn't know what to expect. I had used a vibrator a couple of times before but they had just been hard pieces of stimulating plastic, nothing like this. Neither of us spoke as I slowly brushed the tip of it up and down my pussy for a short while, then moved it to my clit. Despite my anticipation and the effect it already had on my slit, my body made a little jerk and I caught my breath with the sensation of the sudden vibration on those nerves. I moved it back and forth over the rapidly swelling nub, the high-speed stimulation losing no time sending a wave of pleasure through me, my legs spreading involuntary. I opened my eyes slightly and looked to see where David was. He was still sitting on the chair, watching me intently with half-closed eyes, his cock already hard in his hand. "Put it in." His voice was very low and shaky. "Please, honey. Not now." I tried to beg out of it one more time. He didn't say anything, but his look told me he was waiting. With him watching, I closed my eyes again and started my slow descent into what surely most would consider depravity. Slowly I pressed the big head into me, easing it in and out, the vibration filling my senses with every inch. The soft texture masked the fact that a machine was fucking me, and as I pushed it in inch by inch my senses succumbed to its abilities. It had been such a long time since I had the sensation of a cock filling me that just the shaft inside me would have been fulfilling. That it was vibrating and moving around, rubbing every part of my inner walls, just added to it. Finally, when the little bunny ears meant for clitoris stimulation touched me, I arched my back and moaned loudly. Pressing it harder against me was the final touch I needed to bring the whole apparatus to being as the little beads at the bottom of the shaft started to rub my lips in a gentle rolling motion. "U-m-m-m-m." It just rolled out non-stop as I got completely carried away with the electric stimulation. I liked a man's mouth, fingers, cock, everything. But the higher this substitute male brought me the more I knew no man could match it as far a just pure stimulation. I felt my body lifting up and down and heaving with a rhythm in reaction to the steady action of that cock going in and out. Actually, I was holding it very still in place by pressing hard on it but the rotating motion gave me the sensation that it was going totally in and out of my pussy. "O-o-o-o-o, O-o-o-o-o, O-o-o-o-o." I started a little chant, my legs moving up and down on the floor. The pleasure was so intense that I built so fast that there was almost no warning of an impending orgasm. Then I came. That's the only way to put it. It was loud, hard, and long. My head came up off the pillows jerking up and down, looking both at David and at my little master in my hand. My body arched against my hand and I pressed harder and harder against that nonstop source of pleasure. Then, I just dropped and stopped, my clit so sensitive that it hurt. Sheepishly pulling the shaft out of me while it was still running, I turned it off and looked at David. His cock was sticking out a mile and his eyes were still half closed. Without a word, he walked over to me, turned me around facing where he had just been, put me on my knees, got behind me, and without warning slammed into me with a frenzy. Even though I had just exhausted myself with the vibrator, I couldn't help but reaction with a long, grateful moan. It had been s-o-o-o-o long since I had felt him inside me that I had almost forgot how good it felt. However, after he had pounded for a while I realized I was still holding the vibrator. I moved my hand up and down slowly over it's velvet-like texture and even as I was feeling David's cock deep in me, I thought, "He feels good, but he'll never be able to match you for just pure pleasure, my little friend. And you will always be there when I want you." Maybe David had held back from me TOO long. Still, even though I knew he would never match the vibrator, he felt wonderful inside. After that night, the finger masturbation show stopped and the vibrator took over as the method of choice. Although David would sometimes lay with me while I used my new toy, he always would fuck me afterwards. Being careful to place me in an exact position when we did it, he always kept all the lights on "in order to see me better." We never did it missionary style, but whether he would have me straddle him in a sitting up position or ride me doggy style, but it always ended up in me having huge orgasms. Things were good. It was after New Years' and even though there was no solid information coming out, it was apparent something was imminent at work. It's amazing how fast things can change. One morning after that, I was preparing to take some things to the dry cleaners. As usual, I cleaned out pockets first. Out of one of David's jacket pockets came a receipt. I looked to see what it was. It was a shipping receipt from one of those mailbox places. I turned to stone as I looked at it. It wasn't just that it was an overnight shipment to Mr. Lin in Singapore, but the contents declaration just stunned me. "Video tape." I don't think any two words had impacted me so much since "I do." Why was David shipping anything to Mr. Lin at a mailbox place instead of going through the company? I already was getting a real knot in my stomach and knew I had to at least make some effort to find out what was going on. Since approaching David outright was something I wanted to avoid for at least the time being, I decided to grasp at a straw. When I went out for my errands, I stopped by the mailbox place on the receipt. I had been there before and there was always an older man working there who had an obvious attraction to me. I wasn't sure he would give me any information, so I unbuttoned my jacket before going in; I was wearing a fairly low cut blouse with no bra. All was fair right now. "Can I help you?" He was falling all over himself. "Yes. My husband asked me to stop by and see if anything has come in for him." The box he was using was right on the receipt. "No, nothing. Not since those big boxes came in from overseas." "Oh, okay. I know he ships some stuff but I don't really know how much." "He doesn't ship big stuff but those little overnight packages to Singapore he sends out every few days sure does cost somebody a lot of money. I hope they're making a lot of money from it." I had my answer and left, my body shaking. I was barely able to get through the rest of my errands, anxious to get back home. It would be many hours before David got back home and I needed time to think things out. What was it all about? How far had it gone? How was it happening, if indeed it was? Maybe I was just over-reacting. When I got home I instinctly started looking, my swirling mind looking for answers. Surprisingly, it didn't take long. He hadn't been too imaginative. Way in the back of his closet on a top shelf, hidden behind a myriad of sports equipment, there it was. A very complicated looking video camera with all kinds of things sticking off it. There was a tripod lying behind it, along with all the boxes it had came in. Pulling a chair in, I climbed up on it and went through everything. Not far away, hidden under some old sweatshirts, was what I was really, really looking for. The videotapes hidden there had the word "copy" on them and each was dated. I noted how they were stacked in there so that I could carefully put them back. Shaking so badly I could hardly walk, I went to our living room and carefully inserted the earliest dated tape, praying the stupid thing wouldn't jam. I pressed the play button and sat down on the floor right in the front of the screen as I watched the blank, blue screen until it gave way to the action. My worse fears were confirmed. In front of came images of me, with only a towel around my head, as David went down on me. I watched with tears in my eyes as it continued to show me coming, and then went on for a long period as I related to David about what went on at the party. He had taped all of that conversation and more. I was petrified as I continued to watch, changing each tape as it ended. There I was, masturbating in front of the window, on the bed, in the living room with a blindfold on.It was all there. After the first hour or so, my tears stopped. I started watching myself with growing interest, then in a strange way started looking at it from the perspective David and, evidently, Mr. Lin., would have. Although some of it was shot from a distance and showed pretty well my whole body, all the ones with the mask on had been zoomed in to show explicit pictures of my hands on my clit and the vibrator working on me. Most interesting, though, was the close-up shots of my face as I approached and reached orgasm. Within two hours I took off my jeans and started touching myself as I watched. When I watched the Christmas Eve scene with the vibrator I lost it and my body started writhing in recurring, uncontrollable orgasms as the woman on the screen took over my senses. Finally, it stopped, and after thirty or forty minutes, I was able to bring myself down and back to reality. Carefully rewinding and replacing the tapes, I had to decide my course of action. When and where would I approach David? How did this relationship with Mr. Lin occur? I knew they were both totally aroused by this, but was it just between the two of them? And, in spite of my fears and the possible implications, why was I so aroused by it? 5989 2.25/512345